


Best You Ever Had

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottoming from the Top, Drunkenness, Facebook, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Party, Promiscuity, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-11 06:32:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur has been with just about every girl in the sixth form. Merlin pines from afar, knowing he doesn't have a chance. Then Merlin gets an invitation, and realises he has a chance after all. Apparently Arthur is bored and wants to try something new. Merlin knows it's meaningless sex, but he might just be okay with that. Even if the butterflies in his stomach say otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best You Ever Had

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YLFakwWwt8) song, the meaning behind which has nothing to do with this fic at all, but I heard "Oh the boy's a slag" and my mind went "promiscuous!Arthur" so here we are. I had about 500 words sitting in a gdoc already, and the "First Time" prompt at TavernTales fit so well I figured I'd use it as an excuse to finish the idea. Definitely didn't expect it to be this long!

"Even her? Not _every_ girl surely?" Merlin asked.

Gwen gave her best friend a sympathetic smile. "No, not all of them. Even Arthur has standards."

Merlin beat his head against the wall and groaned. "Think I'm gonna bunk off tomorrow. Wanna join me?"

"Can't. I've got an assignment due."

"Which is exactly why you should."

Just then a pair of blonds walked by, speaking in hushed tones and giggling. " _Three_ times! Yeah! I dunno _how_ he does it," the one with larger breasts said. "Viv wasn't exaggerating at _all_..."

Merlin beat his head against the wall again. Gwen put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Merlin, we'll be late for class."

Merlin sighed and let Gwen pull him away from his beloved wall.

/ / /

Why did Arthur have to be in his psychology class? No, scratch that, why did Arthur have to be in his _school_? Merlin hadn't been in his seat for even ten seconds before a folded up piece of paper appeared on his table out of nowhere. When Merlin twisted his neck to follow the hand responsible, he was just in time to see Arthur Pendragon sliding into his chair and winking at him.

Well, shit.

Merlin turned back around and opened the note in his lap. He couldn't imagine what Arthur could possibly have to slip him a note for. _Him_ of all people.

_i’ll walk you home today_

Merlin nearly choked on his own spit. He’d heard of this before, Arthur going home with people, talking to them, _charming_ them, before asking if he could come inside for tea or something. And honestly the talking part was just for show, because Arthur’s reputation got girls wet as soon as they received the note. To think that _Merlin_ had got an invitation...

Merlin crumbled the paper in his hands. He didn’t know what game Arthur was playing, but he wasn’t interested. Well, he _was_ interested, but not in being made a fool of. It was no secret Merlin was gay, and if Arthur was only doing this to prove to his mates that he could charm anyone, even boys, Merlin wasn’t going to do it. He wasn’t going to be treated as some experiment or conquest. If he ever accepted The Invitation, it would be for a damn better reason than some silly game.

So after shoving the wrinkled paper in his pocket, Merlin turned around to glare at Arthur—who was leaning back, tapping the top of his pencil against his lips in a manner that was entirely too seductive for a school setting—and mouthed a firm, “No.”

Arthur stilled his pencil’s movement and arched a brow, a corner of his lip curling up in a smirk. After a moment, he shrugged casually and mouthed back, “Your loss.”

Merlin grit his teeth and turned towards the front where the instructor had begun. As he picked up his pen, he felt a burning irritation not just at Arthur, but at himself as well. So what if it would have been some kind of game? He’d just passed up the chance to shag Arthur bloody Pendragon!

/ / /

“You _what_?!”

Merlin cringed at the volume of Gwen’s voice. “I told him no.”

“Merlin, you’re my best friend and I love you, I do, but sometimes you are such an _idiot_.”

Merlin stopped in the middle of the pavement and turned to her. “You don’t think I did the right thing?” He’d thought Gwen would understand. She was nice, pure, almost noble. The last thing Merlin had expected was this sort of response.

“You’ve been whining about this for weeks—no, months—and when the opportunity finally arises, you say no? Even if it was just a game to him, why should it matter to you? All the other girls have just been milestones for him as well. You _wanted_ this, Merlin. You may have just passed up the best sex of your _life_.”

Merlin sighed and started walking again. She did have a point. It wasn’t that Merlin minded being treated as a quick fuck and then never talked to again. He barely knew Arthur, and wasn’t in love with him or anything. Like everyone else, he just wanted an afternoon with him. But when the invitation finally came, he’d felt so inexplicably angry that Arthur would just assume he was wanted and had acted on impulse.

“I can’t go back to him and say I changed my mind,” Merlin said. “He’d be so...Ugh, he’d be so fucking _smug_ about it, you know? And what if he bragged about it to his mates? ‘Oh, yeah, even the pasty gay bloke with the ears couldn’t resist my charms.’ I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“He won’t brag, Merlin.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Because he _doesn’t_. Sure, he comes off as pompous, but he never actually says anything about his specific hook-ups. He lets his reputation do the speaking. And I think, given certain circumstances, he could even be quite nice.”

Merlin halted in his tracks again. “Oh my God. Gwen, you haven’t. Tell me you haven’t.”

Gwen smiled sheepishly, blushing. “I might have.”

Merlin groaned. “And you never told me? Jesus, Gwen, you never even hinted!”

“I didn’t want to upset you. But now you’ve been asked, so it shouldn’t matter.” She put a comforting hand on his shoulder and urged him to start walking again. “Just let him know you’ve thought about it, and you’ve changed your mind. He really is quite good.”

“He’s probably never even been with a bloke before,” Merlin mumbled.

“So make his first time brilliant.”

/ / /

The next day, Merlin was spared the embarrassment of approaching Arthur himself. He was on the sofa in the sixth form common room talking with Gwen when suddenly Arthur plopped down in the empty space to the right of him. Merlin stiffened and abruptly stopped speaking when he noticed.

“Uh.”

Arthur smiled and stuck out his hand. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Arthur.”

Merlin shook Arthur’s hand slowly. “Merlin.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Merlin.” He took his hand back and looked past Merlin over at Gwen. “Nice to see you again, er...Gwen?”

Gwen smiled despite the question made of her name. “Hello, Arthur.”

“I was hoping I could speak with Merlin alone, if that’s not a problem.”

Merlin opened his mouth to protest—because just who did Arthur think he was kicking his best friend out like that?—but Gwen stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulder. “That’s not a problem at all,” she said cheerily. “I’ll see you later, Merlin.”

Merlin watched her go like a puppy watching its owner walk out the door.

“Right, so, Merlin,” Arthur said, drawing Merlin’s attention back. “I’ve been thinking about yesterday, you saying no and all. I thought I’d ask again, maybe a bit more politely.” He paused, looking Merlin straight in the eye, and Merlin fought the urge to wipe his sweating palms on his trousers. “May I walk you home today?”

Merlin—because he was obviously as big an idiot as Gwen said—said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Why?”

Arthur chuckled. “Why? Really, Merlin?”

He figured he may as well go along with it now, to avoid looking stupid. “Yes, really.”

“Honestly, Merlin, here I am, trying to be polite, and you have to ask questions you already know the answer to. That’s certainly not polite, is it?”

Merlin felt a flare of irritation and spoke before he could filter himself. “Fuck that, you’re an arrogant twat, don’t try to hide it.”

Arthur grinned, as though he’d already won, and that just made Merlin more angry.

“Alright,” Arthur said, scooting further away so he could turn sideways and address Merlin more directly. “Clearly you want me to be straightforward with you. So I’ll be straightforward with you.” He leaned closer, and Merlin clenched his fists to keep from leaning away. “I want you, Merlin.”

Merlin’s heart skipped and he swallowed. “A-And do you always get what you want?”

Arthur leaned back, smiling that smug smile of his. “Usually.”

“In that case. I’ll think about it.”

Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Wait, what?”

Merlin’s own brain was screaming exactly the same thing. _What the fuck are you doing, Emrys? Can you not see the sex god sitting in front of you or have you gone fucking blind?_

Merlin got to his feet, needing to put some space between them. “I said I’ll think about it.” He picked up his school bag and pulled it over his shoulder.

Arthur bolted up. “Okay, just wait a minute. What do you want? I can...I can give you money or something or—”

“ _What_?”

“I mean, not like...Fuck, okay, listen—”

“No, I think I’m done listening for now,” Merlin snapped. “I said I’ll think about it, and that’s just going to have to be good enough for you. I’ll let you know when I’ve made my decision. I’m sure you have plenty others queued up in the meantime.”

Arthur gaped, looking a bit lost, and Merlin would have laughed if he didn’t feel such a sudden desire to be anywhere else but here. People had started glancing their way, and Merlin certainly hadn’t helped matters by raising his voice a little at the end. He spun on his heels and left the common room as quickly as he could.

Gwen was going to kill him.

/ / /

“I think you have a serious mental affliction.”

Merlin sighed, kicking an empty can into the street. “I probably do. It was just...He did that _thing_ again, and I couldn’t help myself.”

“That thing?”

“You know, that thing where he acts insufferably condescending and sure of himself. I’ve never been so annoyed and so attracted by someone in my entire life.” Merlin looked up at her. “I did tell you he offered me money, didn’t I?”

“You did. That’s the bit that surprises me. I never thought he’d do anything like that.”

“Okay, seriously, you have to tell me just what the hell happened between you two. Because you keep making him out as some sort of secret saint, and I honestly can’t wrap my head around that idea at _all_.”

Gwen laughed. “He’s certainly no saint, Merlin. But he’s nicer than people realise. I’m not sure if the other girls saw that, but he was that way with me anyways.”

“What’d he do?”

“Well, you know me, I made him drink all of his tea before I even let a fingernail touch me. Wasn’t going to let good tea go to waste.”

Merlin laughed. “Alright.”

“He asked me things like what my favourite show was or which teacher I hated most or how I liked it living with just my dad. He said he never knew his mum either, and his dad could be rather strict.”

“Really?”

“Really. And then of course he said my mum must have been beautiful if she could bring something as stunning as me into the world. Very smooth,” she said, chuckling.

“Smooth as cream,” Merlin agreed. “That still doesn’t strike me as particularly _nice,_ though. Couldn’t he have put on the same act for everyone?”

Gwen shrugged. “Maybe. But when we got to my room and I told him it was my first time, he said we didn’t have to. That he could leave if I wanted to do it with ‘the one’ or something.”

“Fuck, Gwen, you lost your virginity to—”

“It’s not like I regret it, Merlin,” she said, eyeing him firmly. “It may not have been something incredibly special or something with fireworks or whatever, but he was nice and...and gentle and—”

“Okay, please stop. I don’t need to imagine my best friend naked with a gentle Arthur.”

She laughed. “Fair enough. But like I said, even though he wasn’t ‘the one,’ I don’t regret it being him. He was very sweet.”

Merlin didn’t want to burst her bubble or anything, but... “He forgot your name.”

Gwen gave him a patronising look. “No, he didn’t.”

/ / /

“Merlin!”

Merlin slowed his footsteps at the sound of his name. He knew that voice. He would know that posh voice anywhere.

Sure enough, Arthur caught up with him. “Here,” he said, handing Merlin a piece of paper folded in half. “It’s not perfect, because I didn’t have a photo and I did it from memory, but...I’m sorry if I upset you yesterday. I suppose I’m just not used to that reaction. And my, um. My number’s on the back, so text me if you’ve made up your mind.” Without another word, he dashed off back in the direction from which he’d come.

Merlin furrowed his brow, wondering what the hell just happened. But then he unfolded the paper in his hand and it took his breath away.

It was _him_. It was a sketch of Merlin sitting on a sofa, in the clothes he'd worn yesterday, facing sideways and smiling, so it was probably meant to be him talking to Gwen in the common room yesterday. Arthur had even managed to somehow capture the animated spark in his eyes as he conversed. His chin and the line of his jaw was a bit more angular than it was in reality, and of course Arthur had emphasised the single visible ear entirely too much, but it was a good likeness.

He hadn’t even known Arthur could draw. To think Arthur had been across the room, staring long enough to have so much detail committed to memory...It made Merlin’s chest swell with sudden emotion.

He flipped the paper and looked at the number written on the back.

/ / /

Arthur was waiting for Merlin by the door when he left the building after school. Now that Merlin had texted his answer, Arthur was his usual arrogant self, pushing off the wall he was leaning against and coming to walk beside Merlin with a satisfied grin.

“How far is your house?” he asked.

Merlin shrugged. “Not far. It’ll only take about fifteen minutes.”

“Great.”

They walked in silence about a minute before Merlin had to ask. “And you’re sure about this? You actually want to do this?”

Arthur laughed. “If I wasn’t sure, you think I’d ask?”

“No, I just...don’t understand why. You couldn’t have just woken up one day and decided you fancied blokes.”

“That’s exactly what I did, actually,” Arthur said matter-of-factly. “Well, it wasn’t after I woke up, it was more like after I’d just shagged Liz. I pulled out of her and thought, ‘Huh. Think I’ll do a bloke next time. This is getting boring.’ So I asked you.”

“So you’re just bored? In the mood for something new, is that it?” Merlin couldn’t quite keep the venom out of his voice.

Arthur’s brow furrowed and his face twisted into a worried expression. “Please don’t get angry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How exactly did you mean it?”

Arthur sighed. “Okay, maybe I could have said it less harsh. But basically, yes, I’m bored. Girls are boring. It’s always the same thing, no matter how many different positions you try.”

Merlin raised a brow. “There’s not much more you can do with guys, you know. It’s still pretty much the same.”

Arthur shook his head. “Not at all. I’ve never been on the other side before. I’m _always_ the one doing the fucking. That’s what I’m fed up with.”

Merlin stopped. _Wait, what?_

“You want me to...?”

Arthur laughed. “What did you think? If I wanted to stick it in someone I could have just picked another girl, couldn’t I?”

Merlin took a deep breath. “Right. Okay.”

He started walking again, but now his mind was flooded with images of Arthur laid out naked and writhing beneath him, moaning, and not nearly so arrogant once he was being pounded into. Merlin had to take more deep breaths and focused on just putting one foot in front of the other.

Then Arthur said, “I want to suck your cock first, though.”

Merlin made a rather high-pitched squeaking sound. He shoved Arthur nearly into the street when he threw his head back and laughed.

/ / /

“So how much time have we got before someone gets home?”

Merlin rolled his eyes as he led Arthur through his house up to his bedroom. “And Gwen said you could be nice. Not even going to try to charm me, are you?”

“You didn’t respond well to my attempts at being charming, so clearly you’re a lost cause. What did Gwen tell you?”

They reached the top of the stairs, and Merlin glanced over his shoulder at Arthur’s carefully blank expression. “That you took her virginity,” Merlin said.

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, I guess I did. Was she any bitter about it?”

“No.”

Arthur let out an exhale of relief. “Great. So that’s your bedroom?” He walked past Merlin towards the door at the end of the hall, half open to reveal a room scattered with clothes and various junk. Merlin sighed and walked in after him.

“Sure Arthur, come on in. Not like this is my private space or anything.”

Arthur let his bag fall from his shoulder to the floor and sat on the edge of Merlin’s bed, plopping down as though it wasn’t what Merlin had dreamt of every night since the moment he saw him.

Arthur cleared his throat meaningfully and waved Merlin over when Merlin just stood staring a few seconds. “Come here, then.”

Merlin swallowed and set his bag in his desk chair before walking forward. Arthur’s hands reached out to undo his belt as soon as he was within range, and Merlin felt his heart beat all the way up in his throat.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Arthur asked as he tugged Merlin’s trousers down.

“No. There’ve been a couple others.”

“Yeah? I know them?”

“I doubt it. Why, are you jealous?”

Arthur snorted. “Hardly. Just curious. Though for a non-virgin, you seem very...nervous.” He palmed Merlin’s cock through his pants, and Merlin clenched his fists, biting his lip to keep from moaning.

He _was_ nervous. Because Arthur was a million times more attractive than the bloke he’d sucked off about a year ago, and much more handsome than the guy he’d let fuck him at that party near the beginning of term. Arthur was intense, and Merlin had wanted this for ages. But he wasn’t going to add to Arthur’s ego and tell him that.

“Just worried you’ll bite my dick off with that inexperienced mouth of yours,” Merlin quipped. It didn’t have quite as much sting as he’d hoped, considering how breathless he was.

However, there was brief flicker of uncertainty over Arthur’s features, which he quickly masked with a smirk, saying, “It’s a rather simple concept, _Mer_ lin. Can’t be too difficult.” And before Merlin could respond, he pulled Merlin’s pants down to his knees, letting gravity take them the rest of the way to his ankles. Merlin’s cock sprang up, flushed and erect in front of Arthur’s face.

Arthur licked his lips and Merlin was pretty sure he saw Arthur’s hand squeeze his own cock. But he couldn’t be certain, because just as soon as it happened Arthur raised both his hands, running them up the side of Merlin’s thighs until his thumbs were at Merlin’s hipbones, caressing them.

Merlin had to fight the urge not to push forward. The head of his cock was _right there_ , so close to Arthur’s parted lips, and he could feel Arthur breathing on him.

Suddenly Arthur pushed Merlin back, getting up to stand in front of him.

“What—”

“I have to see you,” Arthur said gruffly. “Just...take your clothes off. Please.”

Merlin blinked. “Well, since you said please...”

He toed off his shoes and stepped out of the pooled fabric at his feet as he unbuttoned his shirt. Arthur undressed as well, but much less hurriedly, and only let his eyes wander away from Merlin’s cock for brief periods of time before falling back to it hungrily. Merlin felt Arthur’s gaze on him as though it was a searching spotlight.

Once it was all skin, Arthur sat on the bed again, taking up their old position. Merlin only got a passing glance at Arthur’s cock, because he kept a large hand steadily stroking it, and once he was standing in front of him, Arthur’s head blocked his view. Then it suddenly didn’t matter all that much because Arthur wrapped his other hand around the base of Merlin’s cock and took him in between pursed lips.

“Oh, _fuck_.”

Merlin held his breath, keeping his fists clenched at his side. He wanted so badly to thrust deeper, because Arthur was barely getting past the head, but held himself still, letting _Arthur Pendragon_ suck him off at his own pace.

After about a full minute, Merlin was able to loosen his fists a bit. Arthur wasn’t...bad, exactly. He was actually quite enthusiastic. But it was all lips, the inside of his mouth sliding over Merlin’s cock and getting it wet and slippery. There was no...no suction, no tongue. It was enough to elicit a steady, low-burning pleasure, but not nearly enough to be anything special.

Merlin put a tentative hand on Arthur’s shoulder and pushed him gently. “Okay...okay, stop. Just...that’s enough.”

Arthur looked up at him with confusion, wiping spit from his chin. “What?”

Merlin didn’t exactly know how to say it. Arthur may have been an arrogant prat, and Merlin did enjoy teasing him, but he couldn’t make fun of him for this. No matter how well-deserved it might be.

“Let’s just move to the fucking bit, yeah? I’ve got lube around here somewhere...” Merlin turned to search the bottom drawer of his desk, but Arthur’s hand gripped his wrist and spun him back around.

“Merlin,” he said firmly, giving Merlin his most intense stare. “Tell me.”

Merlin sighed. “Well. Let’s just say you’re not exactly the best cocksucker in the world.”

Arthur’s jaw clenched and his lips thinned into a pronounced frown. He let go of Merlin’s hand and Merlin looked down, getting a proper look at Arthur’s cock for the first time. It was shorter and thicker than his own, with one prominent vein on the underside, and the colour a darker shade of pink. Though the last was to be expected, considering how pale Merlin was.

“Alright then,” Arthur said, mind finally made up. “So teach me.”

A short laugh did escape then, which he instantly apologised for. “You want me to...teach you to suck cock.”

“If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it ‘til the day I die.”

“Naturally.” Merlin took hold of Arthur’s forearms and urged him to his feet, then sat where Arthur had been sitting before. “Let’s try it like this. Kneel.”

Arthur knelt.

“Right, so, um.” Merlin widened his legs and scooted forward a bit. “I’m sure you’ve had your cock sucked before. It’s not just sliding your mouth back and forth. There actually is a small bit of sucking going on. Like a...like a straw. Not quite as much, but just...a small bit, like I said.”

Arthur sighed, rolling his eyes like he couldn’t believe he had to learn to suck cock from such a daft loser.

“Alright, look, just go back to it, and I’ll guide you from there,” Merlin said.

Arthur licked his lips again and put his hands on Merlin’s thighs before opening his mouth and taking Merlin in once more. He looked up at Merlin through his eyelashes as he sank down as far as he could go and pulled back up.

He _was_ adding a bit more suction, but it wasn’t quite right, and he was making obscene slurping noises that sounded loud in the otherwise quiet room.

“Purse your lips a bit more,” Merlin said. Arthur did, sealing his lips tighter around the shaft. Merlin curled his fingers in the duvet, leaning back on his hands. “More. H-Hollow your cheeks a little.”

Arthur hollowed his cheeks, and Merlin bit his lip to keep from moaning again.

“Yeah, that’s...that’s good. You can use your hands, too. You’re not really going down very far.”

Arthur rolled his eyes again, but moved one hand to wrap around the base, stroking in time with his bobbing head. Merlin didn’t moan then, but he was getting rather breathless from how quickly his blood was pumping through his veins.

“Now just...Tongue. It might mess up your suction, and you’ll definitely start drooling a bit, but use your tongue if you can. It...It feels really good when you lick the tip.”

Merlin gasped when Arthur did just that, pulling back far enough to twirl his tongue around the whole head. _Fast learner._

Then Arthur’s brow furrowed and Merlin could tell exactly what he was thinking, because who _didn’t_ think that the first time they got a taste of precome? He chuckled breathlessly.

“I know it tastes weird but if you don’t like it you can go back to fucking girls,” he said. “I’ve heard it isn’t much better.” Arthur pinched the skin of his thigh, and Merlin laughed again.

The laughing ceased however when Arthur picked up speed. He kept his cheeks hollowed and his tongue pressed flat against the underside of Merlin’s cock, and his hand stroked the length he couldn’t fit in his mouth. Merlin felt like he’d died and gone to bloody _Heaven_. The muscles in his thighs tightened and his toes curled and he could feel his orgasm impending like a falling piano about to hit the pavement.

“Arthur,” he panted. “ _Arthur_.”

And he really couldn’t help it, not with Arthur’s perfect blond head bobbing up and down, his hair looking as though it were made to have fingers running through it. Merlin shifted his weight to one hand and brought his right hand up, sinking his fingers into the soft mess of blondness and urging Arthur on. Arthur slowed enough to swirl around the head again and Merlin’s fingers gripped a handful of hair by the roots, tugging as he cried out in pleasure. Arthur moaned and Merlin shuddered from the sensation it sent up his spine.

“ _God_ , Arthur, I’m almost...I’m gonna...You have to...nnnngh!”

Arthur pulled off with a pop just after Merlin felt his cock start to throb, and his orgasm only hit him harder when he saw some of his come on Arthur’s lips. He didn’t take his eyes away from it for a second, and he felt Arthur’s eyes watching him just as closely as he spurted the rest of his climax on himself.

Merlin fell back with a huff, catching his breath. He felt Arthur crawl onto the bed next to him, and let his head drift to the side to look at him.

“Suppose I don’t have to ask if that was better, then,” Arthur said.

“You suppose correctly,” Merlin replied, chuckling.

“You’re still going to fuck me, you know.”

Merlin looked at the ceiling again. “Yeah. Give me a few minutes.” Then he remembered that time was actually a thing that moved forward outside of his bedroom and he sat up. “Wait. What time is it? Where’s my mobile?”

He got up and rummaged through his clothing on the floor a few seconds before he found it. When he saw the time, he swore.

“Seriously?” Arthur said behind him. “It’s way too early in the day for any self-respecting adult to be coming home yet.”

“Maybe for _your_ posh family, but not for mine.”

Merlin heard Arthur moving on the bed again, and then was abruptly grabbed by his arm and pulled back onto the mattress.

“Hey!”

Arthur held him down by the shoulders, and before Merlin could process anything besides being _pinned down by Arthur Pendragon_ , Arthur himself straddled him and sat on Merlin’s thighs to keep him from getting away. Not that Merlin had any plans to go anywhere. Especially when Arthur started stroking his cock, the veins in his forearm bulging from the speed.

It was also a little weird, though. Because Arthur’s free hand slid up Merlin’s chest slowly, caressing softly, in stark contrast to how fast he was stripping his cock. And his eyes stared straight into Merlin’s, not looking away even when he finally came. There really should have been some sort of sex etiquette for that, because staring into someone’s eyes when they fall apart is just too personal an experience, especially when it was supposed to be a meaningless fuck. Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed and his jaw went slack, but he looked at Merlin the whole way through, gasping as he painted Merlin’s chest with his come.

Arthur only stopped to catch his breath a few seconds before sliding off the edge of the bed and bending over to pick up his pants. “I’m walking you home again tomorrow,” he said.

Merlin couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Brilliant.” Arthur shoved his legs into his trousers and gave Merlin a considering glance. “And look. I meant what I said about not telling anybody. You can say I sucked you off; I couldn’t care less about that. Just don’t say I was _bad_ at it, yeah?”

Merlin had enough coherency to laugh. “I wasn’t planning on telling anyone anything, actually. It’s not their business.”

Arthur reached down for his top and pulled it over his head. “Yeah. You’re one of the few that seem to get that. Well, I’ll see you in psychology, Merlin. You should probably clean yourself up before your mum gets home.”

Merlin looked down at the mess Arthur made of his chest, the mess he made himself of his stomach, and his soft cock laying across his thigh. By the time he looked back up, Arthur was halfway down the stairs.

“What a dick,” Merlin muttered as he heard the door slam shut. “He didn’t even kiss me.”

/ / /

Merlin had pleasant, Arthur-filled dreams that night, better than his usual Arthur-filled dreams. But he didn’t delude himself into thinking Arthur would pay him any special attention at school, so when he passed Arthur in the corridor the next day and Arthur only gave him a nod of acknowledgement, Merlin wasn’t too put off by it. It was certainly more than Arthur had ever graced him with before.

Merlin was on his way to psychology when a pair of deceptively strong brown hands pulled him aside.

“Tell!” Gwen demanded.

Merlin rubbed his shoulder where the strap of his bag had dug into his skin. “You didn’t tell _me_ ,” he pointed out, smirking.

“Merlin.”

“Alright, alright. No need for the Gwen Glare of Death.” He looked around before leaning in and lowering his voice. “He sucked my cock. It was…good.”

Gwen’s expression was some mixture of confused, shocked, and maybe a little angry. “What do you mean just ‘good?’”

“Well, it was…it was like I said. He’d never been with a bloke before,” Merlin explained. “But it wasn’t bad. He’s a quick learner, I’ll give him that.”

“Okay. So he sucked you off and then what?”

Merlin sighed and slumped a bit. “Then it was about time for my mum to get home and we had to hurry things along. He got himself off on my chest.”

“What! Merlin, tell me you’re not actually that much of a loser.”

Merlin ignored her. “I suppose I should be grateful he came on _me_ and not my duvet, though. And now that I think about it, he seemed to really like… _touching_ me.”

“Well I can’t say I’m surprised. You’re a bit different than what he’s used to, I should think. Hair on your chest and all that.”

“Yeah.”

Merlin pursed his lips in thought, recalling the encounter again. Gwen _was_ right about Arthur being somewhat gentle. When he hadn’t been manhandling Merlin, he’d been caressing, feeling Merlin’s skin.

He’d still been a complete arse, though.

“He’s walking me home again today,” Merlin continued. “Unfinished business, I guess.”

“He’s…Again?”

Merlin nodded. “Yep. Said he wants me to fuck him,” he added with a conspiratorial grin.

But Gwen ignored the vital piece of information to say, “Merlin. He’s never walked home with anyone more than once.”

“I know.”

“So you don’t think that’s a little strange?”

“No,” Merlin said, shrugging. “Unfinished business, like I said.”

Gwen looked about ready to say something else, but then Merlin noticed they were nearly the only ones left in the corridor and he decided the rest of the conversation could wait until another time.

“Got to go, Gwen, I’ll talk to you later.”

He took off towards his class, feeling an odd fluttering in his stomach when he remembered Arthur would be there. Well, no, it was probably just the worry that he’d be late. He was a good student and didn’t like getting in trouble.

But it happened again when he entered the classroom, barely on time, and Arthur looked up, smiling at him.

/ / /

Merlin was surprised to hear his name spoken in the midst of a sentence when he left the building after school. He turned to face the voice and saw Arthur leaning against the wall as he was yesterday, talking to a short girl with deep red hair. It was the girl’s voice that he’d heard.

Merlin approached them cautiously. He didn’t want to interrupt, but they _were_ talking about him, and Arthur’s casual stance didn’t indicate it was a serious conversation.

“…walking with him yesterday,” the girl was saying.

Arthur nodded, barely hiding his amusement. “I was. Very observant of you.”

“Isn’t he…er, into blokes?”

Merlin was close enough for Arthur to have caught sight of him then, and he smiled as Merlin walked up. “Hey, Merlin!”

Merlin felt of wave of… _something_ at Arthur’s excitement to see him. It quickly disappeared when he saw the redhead’s eyes widen.

“Hey,” Merlin said.

Arthur pushed off the wall to stand beside him. “Ready to go?”

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but the girl talked over him. “You’re walking him home again?”

Merlin didn’t see what the big deal was, and with a glance at Arthur he saw that he didn’t either, but apparently she was stunned by it.

“Yes,” Arthur said, drawing out the word as though she were challenged. “This has been a lovely conversation, and I’m really sorry I can’t stay, but I’ve somewhere to be. I’ll see you around. Come on, Merlin.” He started walking and Merlin hastened to follow.

“Who was that?” Merlin asked when they were out of earshot. He looked over his shoulder and saw she’d been flocked by four other girls who were now speaking at once and watching them leave the school grounds.

“Vic _tor_ ia,” Arthur said, drawing Merlin’s attention back. He looked at Merlin, waggling his eyebrows in a way that should have been ridiculous but came off as strangely attractive. “She’s a screamer.”

Merlin laughed. “Yeah? She’s so small.”

“She’s got a pair of lungs on her, that’s for sure. Thought the whole neighbourhood would come running to see if I was murdering someone.”

“What did she want?”

Arthur shrugged. “Asking about you. It seems our walking together has caused a bit of confusion.”

“Well, she probably knows we’re doing a bit more than walking together.”

“You don’t say?”

Merlin glared at him before resuming. “I just meant that they probably didn’t expect it. I mean, _I_ didn’t expect it.”

Arthur glanced at him. “But did you hope?”

_Yes!_

“So I noticed you remembered _her_ name,” Merlin deflected.

Arthur turned his head to look at Merlin then, his countenance puzzled. “Who?”

“The redhead. Victoria.”

“Oh. No, I really didn’t. She’d said it earlier, before you walked over. And it’s hard to forget someone that screams so loud.”

Merlin smirked. “Well which is it, did she remind you or was it hard to forget?”

“Shut up, Merlin. I asked you a question. Did you hope I would ask?”

Merlin tilted his chin defiantly, determined not to embarrass himself. “Why should it matter to you?”

“You _were_ rather hard to convince at first. I still don’t understand why.”

“Bruised your fragile ego, did I?”

“No,” Arthur snapped. Merlin snorted and Arthur backtracked. “I don’t have a fragile ego, or whatever. I was just confused. I obviously don’t expect _everyone_ to fancy me, but I’d thought for sure...I thought you’d been looking at me.”

It must have sounded just as awkward to him as it did to Merlin, because he quickly followed it up with, “What changed your mind? Just so I know how to deal with stubborn people like you in future.”

“You planning on working your way through the, what, _two_ other gay blokes in our school?”

“Maybe I will. I haven’t decided yet.” The response hurt Merlin more than he’d expected it to. “But I am curious. It couldn’t have been my shit drawing.”

Merlin gaped. “That drawing was _amazing_.” He’d even showed it to his mum, who had been as impressed as he was.

Merlin blushed, but luckily Arthur seemed just as momentarily speechless as him. Finally, Arthur looked ahead again and said, “Right. But was it what changed your mind?”

Merlin took a breath, composing himself. “Honestly, I was trying to decide whether or not I hated you more than I was attracted to you. The _drawing_ just made me realise you might actually have a heart.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Merlin’s words echoed in his head. _Might actually have a heart? Jesus, Emrys, way to sound stupid._

But then Arthur’s hand slid into Merlin’s, weaving their fingers together, and Merlin nearly got whiplash when he turned his head to look. He quickly turned back again though, facing forward and telling himself not to freak out, that it wasn’t a famous celebrity he was holding hands with, just, you know, Arthur Pendragon, who he’d pretty much lusted after for the past year. He tried to slow his heartbeat and breathe normally, but he could see Arthur staring at him intently in his peripheral vision, and when Arthur’s thumb caressed the back of his palm, Merlin’s stomach did that weird fluttering thing again.

“You totally hoped,” Arthur said smugly.

Merlin cycled through so many emotions at once that he couldn’t even speak—shock, irritation, rage, even a bit of bitter sadness from the hand-holding being just a ploy to gauge his reaction. Merlin could have _screamed_ with teenage frustration, and was about to yank his hand free when a couple of girls suddenly caught up with them, dashing over from the pavement across the street.

“Arthur,” one of them said curtly. Merlin recognised her as Vivian.

Arthur stopped walking to face them, and because he was still holding Merlin’s hand, Merlin was forced to stop with him. He was still furious with Arthur for being his usual conceited self, but didn’t want to make a scene in front of these two.

“Vivian,” Arthur replied easily. He looked to the other girl, who was taller and looked like she played some sort of sport. “And Elena, right?” Merlin noticed Arthur had remembered their names as well.

Elena nodded. “I tried to stop her, Arthur, honestly—”

Vivian raised her hand, cutting Elena off. “So. Merlin, huh?” Even though it was Merlin’s name she said, she was looking at Arthur, glancing down at his and Merlin’s clasped hands.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to be a bit more specific,” Arthur said. “What about him? And do keep in mind he's standing right here.”

“Oh, nothing. Just everyone couldn’t help but notice you’re walking him home again.”

Arthur threw his head back and laughed. “Okay, this is getting a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?”

She ignored him and continued. “What’s it to be when you’re through with him, then? When you’re through with the other poofs that’ll give you the time of day? Going to move onto monkeys next? Should I warn the zookeeper?”

“Viv!” Elena exclaimed.

Arthur’s hand squeezed Merlin’s hard enough to hurt, but Merlin didn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything but gape. Arthur’s face, though, remained as carefree as ever, and that really must have taken some practising.

“Actually, I was thinking about going for the teachers,” Arthur said. “I’ve always wondered what it’d be like with an older woman.”

Vivian shoved his shoulders, nearly knocking him over, but he just laughed. “Ugh!” she screamed. “You disgust me, Arthur Pendragon!”

“Like I give a shit.”

She huffed again then pulled Elena along. “Let’s go, Elena. Have fun with that freak and his oversized ears, Arthur.”

That’s when Arthur seemed to finally snap. “I will!” he shouted back. “Because I _like_ his ears! Have fun with your weird looking nipples! Cunt!”

Arthur spun around and dragged Merlin with him. Merlin had never been happier for his long, gangly legs in his life, otherwise he probably would have tripped trying to keep up.

“Ah, Arthur, could you maybe...loosen your grip just a _little_?” Merlin asked tentatively.

Arthur slowed his gait and, thankfully, loosened his grip. He ran a trembling hand through his hair and took two deep breaths before clearing his throat and straightening his posture. Merlin felt like he’d just watched an actor get back into character, and was too busy trying to figure out if Arthur was _completely_ mental or just _somewhat_ mental to be upset about what had happened before.

They were nearly at his house when Merlin said, “So. My ears—”

“Are atrocious, but that doesn’t give her the right to make fun of them.”

“Right. You don’t actually like them then.”

“They’re _ears_ , Merlin. Why would I feel one way or another about a body part?” He rolled his eyes. “Honestly, that’s like saying I like your arm. Oh, what a _lovely_ arm you have, Merlin,” he joked, shaking Merlin’s arm up and down for good measure. Merlin kept his mouth shut about his own opinion on Arthur’s arms, which actually were rather lovely.

“I guess that makes sense,” Merlin said instead. “My ears just seem to attract a lot of attention though, yeah? I mean, for something of so little importance.”

They were on Merlin’s doorstep now, so Arthur let his hand slide free and waited for Merlin to get out his key. “People just aren’t looking at them right,” Arthur said as Merlin rummaged through his school bag. “Yeah, they’re a bit bigger than average, but it’s impossible to imagine you any other way. They sort of...define you, you know? And when the sun shines through them—”

Merlin looked up, causing Arthur to cut himself off, and Merlin was fairly certain he saw the hint of a blush on Arthur’s cheeks.

“Shut up and open the door,” Arthur demanded. “Or we won’t have time. _Again_.”

Merlin sighed and put his key in the lock. “You’re lucky you have your looks, Pendragon.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Merlin opened the door and let Arthur inside before closing it. “Mum’ll be later getting back tonight, though, since it’s Friday. We probably have an extra half hour or so.”

“Does she work later on Fridays? That must suck.”

Merlin stopped halfway up the stairs to look back. “Wow. That actually sounded like you care.”

Arthur thrust his palm out, shoving Merlin forward by the arse. Merlin nearly tripped and fell on his face. “I _don’t_ care, I was just wondering.”

“She likes to bake on Fridays and make dessert to last the whole weekend,” Merlin said as he reached the top of the stairs. “She goes to the grocery after work.”

Merlin waited until he’d thrown his bag down in his room to look back at Arthur again. Arthur’s face looked like he’d just bit into a lemon.

Merlin couldn’t look too much into it though, because he realised that once again, Arthur was in his room, and they were going to _do things_. Arthur seemed to realise it as well, because he quickly rearranged his face back into its usual easy-going demeanour. He shrugged off his bag and let it fall to the floor, stepping toward Merlin with intent.

“No belt today,” he mused as he brought his hands to the button of Merlin’s trousers. “Was that on purpose?”

“What?”

“This morning, when you got dressed. Did you think of how I’d be taking your clothes off after school?”

Arthur had Merlin’s zip undone by now and Merlin was sure he was blushing at the way the bulge of his half-hard cock pushed against the tight confines of his pants. Because Merlin definitely maybe _possibly_ might have chosen to put on briefs this morning instead of boxers for just such a reason.

And Arthur wasn’t stupid. He chuckled and pulled Merlin’s trousers the rest of the way down. “I think you did,” he said, grinning.

Like _hell_ was Merlin going to admit that. “No, I really didn’t. I was in a hurry and forgot. And I don’t even need a belt with these trousers.”

Arthur smirked and slid his fingers underneath the hem of Merlin’s shirt, raising it as his hands travelled higher. “Well which is it, _Mer_ lin? Did you forget or did you not need it?”

Merlin just glared at him, but when he had to lift his arms for Arthur to pull the shirt over his head, it sort of lost some of its effect.

Fuck’s sake, why did Arthur have to open that stupid mouth of his? Merlin would have liked him so much better if he was mute. Or if he put said mouth to better use, as he had yesterday.

“Well, _I_ did,” Arthur said, pulling his own shirt over his head and throwing it carelessly aside.

Merlin took a moment to admire Arthur’s chest—and arms—again before narrowing his eyes, already not trusting any response of Arthur’s one bit. “You what?”

“Thought about how I’d be taking your clothes off.” Arthur pushed his trousers down and looked up at Merlin with something of a triumphant light in his eyes, his smile positively wicked. “I know what you look like naked now.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, even though he was somewhat thrilled that Arthur had thought about him. “You know what most of the sixth form looks like naked.”

Arthur shrugged. “True. But—”

Merlin waited for whatever was supposed to come after “but”, but Arthur had clamped his mouth shut, and started taking off his socks. So Merlin reached down to do the same.

“But what?” Merlin prompted.

“But nothing.” Suddenly Arthur’s hands were on Merlin’s hips, bringing their bodies so close they were pressing against each other from the knees up. Merlin went from half-hard to fully erect in seconds. “Aren’t you supposed to be fucking me?”

Merlin swallowed a gasp as their cocks rubbed together, and any other topic of importance in his mind went flying out the window. He let himself dare to touch Arthur as Arthur was touching him, placing his hands low on Arthur’s hips, just over the swell of his arse, and pulled Arthur even closer, grinding into him. Arthur inhaled sharply, loud enough to drown out Merlin’s moan.

“There are…some things that are most definitely different when it comes to blokes,” Merlin said hoarsely. “But…as a general rule…you should kiss someone before fucking them.” Merlin lifted his eyes to Arthur’s, staring deep into the electric blue irises. “Or do you not even kiss the girls you walk home?”

Arthur’s brow furrowed slightly before he quickly smoothed his features again. “Of course I do.”

Arthur’s gaze dropped briefly to Merlin’s lips before darting back up, but the quick movement was all Merlin needed. He realised that Arthur was _scared_.

Maybe not scared in the sense of being actually frightened, but scared that he’d mess up, scared he’d charge ahead like he did yesterday and make a fool of himself again. Merlin couldn’t help but be a little smug at seeing Arthur so hesitant, and rolled his hips forward again, making Arthur exhale unsteadily.

“You can suck my cock but you can’t kiss me, is that it?” Merlin teased.

Arthur’s jaw clenched and he abruptly tightened his hold on Merlin’s hips, pushing and forcing Merlin to stumble backwards until he was pressed against his desk. Merlin had to put his hands on the wooden edge just to keep himself upright, and more than a few desk objects were knocked over.

“I haven’t kissed you, _Mer_ lin, because I thought you didn’t want me to,” Arthur proclaimed. “Of course I want to bloody kiss you. But you didn’t like when I tried being polite, you didn’t like when I was straightforward—I don’t know _what_ the hell you want. I don’t know if it’s a gay thing or just you, but...but _dammit_ Merlin, why do you have to be such a _fucking_ puzzle!”

Merlin didn’t know what to say to that, not when Arthur was pressed up against him and staring at him with such intensity, not when his head was reeling from how much Arthur overwhelmed his senses completely. But the fire in Arthur’s eyes was more than desperate lust; it seemed to be genuine frustration directed at Merlin. Merlin didn’t know whether to laugh at how he’d managed to reduce the mighty Arthur Pendragon to this, or apologise.

“There’s no ‘puzzle’ about it,” Merlin replied firmly. “You’re just overthinking things. Here, I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll tell you what I want.” Merlin took hold of Arthur’s hand and pried it off his hip to place it on his face, cupping his cheek. Arthur’s eyes lost their angry spark as they widened a bit. “I _want_ you to kiss me. I want you to...to touch me. And then I want to fuck you.”

Arthur’s gaze dropped to Merlin’s mouth again, lingering there this time. His lips parted, and his breathing was slow, as though he had to concentrate just to do it. He caressed Merlin’s cheekbone with his thumb almost hesitantly, and slid his other hand from Merlin’s hip to the small of his back.

Arthur seemed to hesitate a couple more seconds before finally making up his mind, and thank God, because Merlin didn’t know if his poor heart could handle the suspense for any longer. Arthur closed the final distance between them, capturing Merlin’s mouth first tentatively, then confidently when Merlin kissed back.

It didn’t stay chaste for very long, escalating from lips to tongue to full on groping in a matter of seconds. Merlin had been slightly worried that Arthur was afraid to kiss a boy at first, because it _was_ somehow more personal than sucking cock after all—Well, it made sense to Merlin’s teenaged mind—but apparently Arthur _did_ want this, had said as much before. Arthur’s hands clutched and pulled, and knew exactly what they wanted. Because this was Arthur Pendragon and he was decisive and he _always_ got what he wanted.

So, armed with _that_ knowledge, Merlin didn’t hold back either. He kissed Arthur just as hard as he was being kissed, pushed his tongue out to meet Arthur’s when Arthur shoved it inside his mouth and tried to claim Merlin for his own. Merlin’s head was still spinning, but he put up a valiant fight, sliding his fingers into Arthur’s hair again as he allowed Arthur to claim while still doing a bit of claiming for himself.

Arthur’s hips thrust forward, sending a jolt of pleasure through Merlin’s _everything_ when the pressure on their cocks increased, and the force of it shook the desk again. Merlin’s lungs felt like they were about to give out, so as Arthur kept thrusting, kept knocking the desk into the wall and rutting into Merlin like he just couldn’t stop, Merlin had to break away from the kiss, just for a second, just to get some air into his lungs. He used his hold on Arthur’s hair to pull away, and gasped for breath as Arthur hungrily relocated to his neck.

It was too much. Arthur’s hot skin melded against his own, the relentless jerking of his hips, and the way he _devoured_ Merlin’s throat was just too overwhelming. Merlin was already close to finishing, and was skyrocketing higher with every passing second.

“Arthur,” he gasped. “A-Arthur, stop. Just fucking stop a minute.”

Arthur raised his head from Merlin’s neck and looked at him with wide, confused eyes. He looked as wrecked as Merlin felt, and Merlin hadn’t even known that he or Arthur had that much self control.

“I just...need to breathe a second,” Merlin panted. “And then...then we can move to that perfectly good bed over there.”

There was a _ding!_ sound, which puzzled Merlin at first, but then he realised it must have been Arthur’s mobile, because his didn’t make that sound. Arthur ignored it, responding to Merlin’s previous statement with a nod and another caress of his cheek.

“Alright,” Arthur said. “Now that we’ve done kissing, I’ll just touch you then, shall I?”

He slid his hand from Merlin’s face down his neck, and leaned back until just their groins were still pressed together to touch past Merlin’s collarbone and over his thin chest. Merlin was fairly certain Arthur was able to feel his heart pounding behind his ribcage.

It was all very slow. If Merlin didn’t know better, he would have guessed it to be purposefully sensual, but this was Arthur, who didn’t do _feelings_ with sex, so it was definitely more exploratory than anything.

Arthur’s mobile _ding_ ed again just as he slid his hand up Merlin’s back. He trailed his fingertips over the thin skin of Merlin’s spine, making Merlin gasp and shudder instinctively. Arthur chuckled and did it again, using a light touch to tickle Merlin where his spine curved.

“Ticklish there, hmm? Wonder how far it goes up,” Arthur mused.

Merlin opened his mouth to tell Arthur to quit being a knob, but ended up squeaking a bit when a single finger trailed all the way up between his shoulder blades. Arthur laughed delightedly, obviously glad to have found a weakness. Merlin glared at him and pushed him back just as Arthur’s mobile _ding_ ed yet again.

“Can’t you turn that stupid thing off?” Merlin snapped.

“Sure. I’ll turn it off when I get the condom. That is, assuming you’ve got your breath back and all.”

“I have.”

“Brilliant.”

Arthur picked his trousers up off the floor and rummaged through the pockets for his mobile while Merlin pulled off his pants, finally removing the last of his clothing. He felt a bit odd sitting on the bed naked and waiting for Arthur to join him, especially when it seemed like Arthur wasn’t even interested anymore, caught up in whatever message he’d got on his phone. But he figured Arthur would just be a minute, and busied himself with staring at Arthur’s back, at the hem of his pants which lay over the swell of a frankly beautiful arse.

Then Arthur slowly turned around, still staring the screen of his mobile. His face had that pinched look again, and as he walked just as slowly over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to Merlin as though in a daze, Merlin realised something was most definitely wrong.

“What is it?” he asked, wanting to peer over and look at the screen, but making himself wait.

“It’s...Facebook,” Arthur said. “Vivian.”

Merlin wasn’t entirely sure what that had to do with the way Arthur was acting, but then his mind made the connection and he thought he might have an idea.

“She mentioned me in a post,” Arthur continued, voice flat. “And you.”

“Me?” Merlin echoed. He looked to his laptop on his desk automatically. It was closed, but it wasn’t off. And he was pretty sure his mobile was on vibrate, which would explain why he hadn’t heard any notifications himself.

“It’s just...I mean, it’s nothing. Just Vivian being Vivian,” Arthur said. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. She didn’t have to pull _you_ into it, though.”

“What exactly did she say?”

Arthur’s brow furrowed even more, and he seemed to be contemplating something before he finally muted the sound and turned the screen off, tossing it back onto the pile of his clothes. “Fuck her. She’s not ruining this. Here’s the condom, where’s the lube?” Arthur asked, showing Merlin the packet in his other hand.

Merlin had to blink a few times to get his bearings. Right, lube. Whatever those stupid girls were saying about Arthur could wait. He stood up and went to his desk, kneeling to open the bottom drawer and remove the small bottle he kept there. When he turned around and walked back to the bed, Arthur stopped him, putting his hands on his hips.

“Let me just...” He eyed Merlin’s cock intently, licking his lips. “Just for a minute. Not enough for you to finish...”

Merlin’s cock gave a visible twitch at the want in Arthur’s voice. A corner of Arthur’s mouth curled up in response, and he wrapped a hand around it before darting forward to lick the head. Merlin gasped and his hands flew to Arthur’s shoulders, grabbing them for leverage to steady himself. Arthur’s grin widened and he leaned forward again, this time taking Merlin between his lips entirely. Merlin let out a shaky breath as Arthur proceeded to follow all Merlin’s instructions from the day before, moulding his mouth to Merlin’s dick and _sucking_.

And really, someone so new to it had no right to be so _good_ at it. When Arthur’s hands slid back to Merlin’s arse, cupping them, squeezing them, Merlin thought he would die from the pleasure, and didn’t even try to hold back his moan. Yes, this was definitely a better use for Arthur’s mouth. Merlin slid his fingers into Arthur’s hair again and curled them possessively, urging Arthur on.

But Arthur only did it long enough for Merlin to get satisfyingly out of breath again, and let Merlin slip out slowly, lingering at the head. He put his hands on the bed and crawled backwards to lay down, taking off his pants and tossing them onto the floor.

He looked so beautiful, so perfect, like a divine creature all laid out on Merlin’s very own bed, that Merlin was stunned by the sight for a moment. He still couldn’t believe someone as fit as Arthur wanted to have sex with him. That he wanted _Merlin’s_ cock in his arse.

Then Arthur hitched a brow and stroked his cock lazily, prompting Merlin to move. Merlin snapped out of it and crawled atop him, smashing their lips together again, and Arthur opened up for him like he’d just been waiting for Merlin to do that.

Arthur’s hands grabbed Merlin’s arse, pulling him closer until they were flush against his each other, grinding together with nothing but skin. The friction of Arthur’s naked cock on his own had Merlin’s groin tensing up already, and he dug his fingernails into Arthur’s thigh where Arthur had a leg hooked around him.

As they kissed, all tongues and teasing little bites, they got so tangled that Merlin lost track of where he ended and Arthur began. He didn’t notice Arthur had managed to get on top until the weight of him pressing down became so overwhelming that Merlin had to roll them over and take control again. It wasn’t until Merlin felt Arthur squeezing his arse hard enough to pull the cheeks apart that he remembered there was another goal in mind besides snogging and frotting.

“It’s going to hurt,” Merlin said between kisses.

“Mmm. I know,” Arthur said. “You better make it hurt good then. You better fucking _ruin_ me, Emrys.”

Fuck if that didn’t go straight to Merlin’s cock. He moaned low in his throat just as Arthur rolled them over again, straddling Merlin.

“Fuck _,_ yeah, I will,” Merlin gasped. “Maybe you’ll finally say my name like it’s _not_ a synonym for idiot.”

Arthur chuckled breathlessly and reached a hand over Merlin’s head to grab the bottle of lube where it’d been discarded on top of the pillow. He pressed it to Merlin’s chest, pulling away from Merlin’s lips to stare down at him challengingly.

“Get to it then, _Mer_ lin.”

Merlin lost no time in pushing down the top of the bottle, squirting lube onto his fingers. Some of it dripped through the cracks and got on his chest, but instead of laughing or even rolling his eyes like Merlin expected, Arthur spread it over his skin, making the already straight hair lay perfectly flat. Merlin took a deep breath, preparing himself before reaching behind Arthur to feel for his entrance, and Arthur’s hand over his ribcage raised and lowered along with his chest.

He wondered for a split second whether or not he should ask if Arthur was ready, but Arthur would probably snap at him, and he _had_ told Merlin to get to it. So he compromised, giving Arthur a bit of warning by trailing his thumb from Arthur’s hip to the cleft of his arse while his lubed fingers came closer and closer. Arthur inhaled and exhaled slowly, shifting his knees farther apart on either side of Merlin and leaning forward just the slightest bit to help expose himself more. He sucked in his bottom lip just a little, and stared unwavering into Merlin’s eyes before giving a firm nod.

It was a bit awkward from this angle, but Merlin figured he’d started this way so he may as well loosen up Arthur’s hole before moving his hand to a position where he could push deeper. Arthur’s fists clenched in the sheets on both sides of Merlin’s head as the tip of Merlin’s finger started to breach him, but he seemed to know it was important to stay relaxed, and kept staring into Merlin’s eyes as he worked to keep his breathing calm. Merlin was pretty sure Arthur forgot that Merlin was staring back at him, that there was in fact a person behind those eyes he never looked away from.

Either way, it was the hottest thing Merlin had ever seen, Arthur’s grim determination to take this now so he could take Merlin’s cock later. And even though Merlin knew Arthur didn’t hold any of the same feelings, he couldn’t help but feel a little warm inside, a little glad that Arthur was giving this to him. He’d never felt so close, so connected to anyone before.

Merlin moved his finger in circles, stretching the rim just a bit more, then dared to push a little deeper, making Arthur suddenly gasp and clench around him. His brow furrowed slightly and his lips parted, and he finally let his gaze leave Merlin’s eyes as he dropped his head, the tip of his fringe hanging down low enough to touch Merlin’s nose.

Merlin saw Arthur was in pain and did his best to soothe him. He raised his other hand to Arthur’s cheek and urged him to look up, running his thumb across Arthur’s lips when Arthur didn’t meet his eyes right away.

“Kiss me,” Merlin murmured.

Arthur looked at Merlin then, and only waited a couple seconds before leaning forward to kiss him again. It brought their chests together, slid their cocks harder between them, and allowed Arthur’s arse to open just that little bit more, so Merlin didn’t have to move his hand to change the angle.

Merlin started to work in a second finger at the same time he slid his tongue into Arthur’s mouth. Arthur gasped again, briefly breaking the kiss, and his hips jerked forward before he pushed back.

Arthur was much more pliant the longer they kissed. Things went smoother, and he alternated between grinding his cock next to Merlin’s and fucking himself on Merlin’s fingers. He even gave a pitiful whimper when Merlin scissored them deep inside, and Merlin’s eyes were just open enough to see the blush on Arthur’s cheeks.

“Now,” Arthur said a minute later, sounding about as wrecked as he looked. “Fuck me _now_ , Merlin.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, where’s the condom?”

Arthur shuffled back, Merlin’s fingers slipping out, and searched the folds of the duvet for the small square packet. He’d finally located it just as Merlin heard the creaking sound of a door downstairs.

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Tell me that’s not your mum getting home. I swear, the fates are against me.”

Merlin listened a few seconds longer, hoping against hope that the sounds of entry reaching his ears weren’t really there at all. But he couldn’t deny it, not to himself, and not to Arthur.

“Fuck, just—Okay, just get dressed,” Merlin said, springing up from the bed to shut and lock the door, which had been ajar. “I’ll tell her you’re a new friend. And you’ll...you’ll stay the night. And then when she’s sleeping, we’ll just continue then. Yeah.”

Arthur grumbled, but realised the need for haste and began following Merlin’s lead to dress. “My fucking luck. This should be interesting,” he muttered. Then, louder, “Merlin, you idiot, you put on my pants!”

“Oh, fuck.” Merlin dropped the trousers which he’d only just got his legs into and hurried out of Arthur’s pants. “I was wondering why they were so loose. They look just like a pair I—”

“Merlin?” his mum’s voice came through the door. “Are you talking to someone in there?”

Merlin’s stomach plummeted, and he froze. Arthur shoved his shoulder, gesturing for him to say _something_.

“Uh...Yes?” Arthur snatched his pants back and Merlin quickly became coherent again. He searched the floor for his own briefs and picked them up. “I mean. Yes. Friend from school. Helping me with...psychology.”

The handle turned and clicked as the lock stopped her from entering. “Have you locked the door?” she asked, voice a little high-pitched. “What have I told you about locking doors?”

Merlin racked his brain. “Uh, nothing?”

“Oh. You’re right. I don’t think you’ve ever locked your door before.” She paused and then, “Well I don’t like you locking doors, Merlin, we don’t keep secrets in this house, you know that.”

Merlin was at least somewhat decent now, though his erection wasn’t even close to disappearing, and with a glance at Arthur he found him in a similar state. Arthur nodded and opened his school bag, pulling out a notebook at random to lay across his lap as he sat in the desk chair.

Merlin straightened his shirt, covering the telltale bulge, smoothed his hair down, and wiped his fingers on his trousers before unlocking the door and opening it. He gave his mum his best apologetic smile, going for something between sheepish and normal teenage indifference.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “Forgot I locked it.” He could practically hear Arthur’s unsaid _you idiot_ behind him.

His mum raised a sceptical brow. “Why’d you lock it in the first place?”

“Made me feel safe. Made Arthur feel safe, I mean. Of course I feel safe, this is my house. But Arthur felt better with it locked since it’s a new place and the neighbourhood isn’t posh enough for him.”

Now Merlin was thinking he was idiot as well. _Made him feel safe? Really?_

She looked at him blankly a few seconds so Merlin stepped aside, opening the door wider and raised his arm to indicate Arthur. “Right, so, Mum, this is my mate Arthur.”

“Hello, Ms Emrys,” Arthur greeted her with a wave. Merlin wished he’d stand up or something because staying seated with an open notebook over his lap was frankly quite suspicious.

She looked from Merlin to Arthur and back a couple times, then barked out a laugh. “You expect me to believe my gay son was in here _studying_ with someone who looks like _that_? Honestly, Merlin, I’m not stupid. And your neck is covered in love bites.”

Merlin felt the blood drain from his face. “I...” He looked to Arthur but Arthur was biting back a smile of his own. Of course he’d find it funny when it wasn’t his own mum. “Okay, we may have been a bit...preoccupied just now.” Merlin thought he should probably say more, give some explanation, but what exactly could he say?

His mum laughed again. “Merlin, dear, you’re a seventeen year old boy. I’m aware that sex is a thing that happens. Please just be safe.”

Merlin exhaled in relief and couldn’t believe his mum was that amazing. It would still be awkward doing it while she was home, but at least it was a load off his chest not having to worry about her finding out.

She stepped into the room approaching Arthur. “Arthur, is it?” she asked. “As in Arthur Pendragon? The one that did that lovely drawing?”

Arthur’s eyes widened a bit in surprise, but he smiled as he nodded. “Yes, that’s me. I know it wasn’t quite right but I did it rather quickly—”

“No, it was wonderful. Very impressive, you obviously put a lot of thought and consideration into it.” She stuck out her hand, but then pursed her lips and pulled back, thinking better of it. “Er, it _is_ safe to shake your hand, isn’t it?”

Arthur laughed and held out his hand. “It’s Merlin’s hand you shouldn’t touch. Pleasure to meet you, Ms Emrys.”

Merlin felt like he was about to die from embarrassment, but his mum just shook Arthur’s hand and said, “Please, call me Hunith. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Spending the night, if that’s alright. Merlin didn’t seem to think it’d be a problem.”

“Of course not. Just remember what I said and be safe, alright?”

Arthur grinned. “He’s in _very_ capable hands, I assure you.”

“Great. Now that’s settled, I’ll be downstairs. Dinner will be in a couple hours and there’ll be cake afterwards.” She turned to go and looked over her shoulder as she left. “Do try to get some actual studying done, Merlin. I don’t want you getting up to anything until I’ve settled in for the night. That’s the _last_ thing I need on my mind while I’m downstairs cooking for you two.”

Merlin nodded, sure he was blushing furiously, and shut the door behind her. He sighed and collapsed onto his bed. “What the hell are we supposed to do until she goes to sleep?” he mourned.

“We could still—”

“You heard what she said! And no way, that is just _too_ weird. She’s right downstairs!” Oh, if Gwen could hear him now. She’d gape and call him a loser for sure.

Not surprisingly, Arthur looked unimpressed. “You’re not very adventurous, are you? I’ve fucked with parents in the house loads of times. You’re one of the few it’s been a problem with.”

Merlin sat up angrily. “I’m plenty adventurous! I’ve skipped school a couple times.”

“Oh my, you certainly are bad, aren’t you?”

“Well, sorry if I don’t want to take a chance that my mum’ll see me with my fingers in your arse.”

“She won’t.” Arthur stood up, smiling as he put the notebook aside and stalked over. “We were just about to the good part, yeah? And I bet you’re still hard. All you’d have to do is slide right in.”

Merlin bit his lip, contemplating, wanting. It didn’t help that Arthur’s word choice had his mind imagining his cock doing just as he described. But he could hear clanging dishes from the kitchen and no matter how badly he wanted to, it would ruin everything with the sounds of his mum in the background. He knew the sex was meaningless, but it just wouldn’t feel the same, wouldn’t feel _special_ if it was only a quick fuck behind his mum’s back.

Merlin sighed and fell back. “I can’t.”

Arthur groaned and sank back into the chair. “Unbelievable. I’ll just sit here and tell my cock to go down while I try to do coursework then, shall I? Since you’ve obviously made up your mind.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, it’s just a few hours. We’ll survive.”

Merlin lay there listening to the sound of angry pencil strokes on paper a few minutes, trying to tell himself that he was doing the right thing obeying his mum and waiting until she went to sleep, even if his cock was still trying to convince him otherwise. Eventually he got up because he had to use the toilet.

"Going to wash my hands," he said, making for the door. "Be right back."

"If you’re really going in there to wank, I’ll never forgive you. I’ll leave and settle for the _second_ most attractive gay bloke instead."

“I’m going to pee smartarse,” Merlin quipped. “And then I’m going to wash your arse off my hands, like I bloody said. If I was going to wank, I’d just do it here.” _Because why use my imagination when you’re sitting right there?_

Arthur snorted and went back to work. It wasn’t until later when Merlin was rubbing soap on his hands that he realised what Arthur said.

_Second most attractive? Does that mean he thinks I’m the most attractive? Oh my God!_

Merlin was already writing the text message about Arthur’s slip up to Gwen in his head. By the time he returned to his bedroom, Arthur had gone from working in his notebook to standing by the window staring miserably at his mobile.

Merlin had completely forgot about the Facebook post, but remembered now as he saw Arthur's face get that pinched look again. And as Arthur's eyes gave off a decidedly more hopeless appearance, he realised that's what the great Arthur Pendragon looked like _sad_.

Merlin was _not_ prepared for that, and resolved to just ignore it, along with the painful twisting in his stomach. He walked over to his desk chair to move the notebook so he could sit down at his computer, and was taken by surprise again when he saw that Arthur hadn't been working at all, but drawing.

It was definitely another sketch of Merlin, though this time the profile was closer up and the expression was different. As soon as Merlin had the notebook—sketchbook, really—in his hands, Arthur's head snapped up and he took it from Merlin's grasp.

“You’re—That’s—”

“It’s no one,” Arthur snapped. “Just some random bloke. Don’t touch my stuff.”

Arthur’s voice was strained, as though he had a lump in his throat from checked emotion, and Merlin had a brief moment of panic because he didn’t know what the hell he’d do if Arthur started crying. Arthur’s eyes were more hurt than anything though, so Merlin tried to steer back to familiar territory.

“I-It was on _my_ desk chair, which I happen to want to use,” he said, plopping down into it. “I couldn’t care less about your things or what you draw.”

Merlin turned to face his laptop and opened it, his heart beating just a little faster as he pulled up Facebook. He’d seen Arthur get angry at Vivian’s words before; what could make him get like _this_?

And more importantly, what had they said about _him_?

Behind him, Arthur sighed and walked to sit on the bed. Merlin glanced over his shoulder and saw he was sitting cross-legged with his sketchbook in his lap, facing the wall. Well then.

Merlin had almost thirty notifications. Vivian mentioned him in a comment on a post, and others had left comments as well. Merlin looked at the names and their faces briefly flashed through his mind. Arthur had been with almost all of them.

 

 **Vivian Swold:** Arthur Pendragon will fuck ANYTHING. Get tested girls.

 **Vivian Swold:** Oh, and Merlin.

 **Ashley George:** i honestly still can’t believe it. he has no shame whatsoever.

 **Liz Yeoman:** he did seem a bit out of it when he was with me tho. i think he’s gone to blokes for good.

 **Helena Jones:** WHAT? He hasn’t walked me home yet!

 **Ashley George:** omg shut up helena. merlin’s probably given him aids or something by now anyways.

 **Freya Bradbury:** That was really fucking ignorant of you Ashley. Merlin is a nice guy, he can’t help it that he fell for Arthur like everyone else did.

 **Ashley George:** you’re just saying that because you liked him before you found out he was a poof

 **Freya Bradbury:** Fuck you!

 **Samantha Liu:** omg viv i just got home and i was just thinking that i should! no offence to anyone else of course

 **Gina Hardwick:** what’ll he do when he’s done with boys, do you think?

 **Vivian Swold:** Teachers.  <\--His words.

 **Ashley George:** oh ewww

 **Percival Pellinore:** have you seen ms nimueh though?

 **Percival Pellinore:** just saying. if anyone can do it, arthur can.

 **Vivian Swold:** Wow. WOW. It’s like you missed the point that Arthur used all of us.

 **Victoria Durnham:** some of us actually liked him you know. not just for sex. but of course boys wouldn’t know anything about that.

 

There were a few more comments, but just then Gwen messaged him.

 

 **Gwen:** OMG Merlin have you seen?

 **Gwen:** what the fuck am i saying, of course you’ve seen.

 **Gwen:** I’m going to say something. Someone should say something.

 **Merlin:** no, i think we should just stay out of it

 **Merlin:** let them get it out of their system

 **Gwen:** Did you not see what Ashley said about you?

 **Gwen:** AIDS MERLIN! SHE SAID AIDS!

 **Merlin:** gwen please

 **Merlin:** i’m fine. i’m sort of more worried about arthur.

 **Gwen:** And by sort of you mean a lot.

 **Gwen:** Yeah I am too.

 **Gwen:** How is he?

 

Merlin looked over his shoulder. Arthur was no longer drawing, but sitting hunched with his elbows on his knees and his hands clenched in his hair.

 

 **Merlin:** not good, i think. i’m gonna talk to him.

 **Gwen:** Merlin.

 **Merlin:** well i’m gonna try.

 **Merlin:** i’ll talk to you later

 **Gwen:** Bye.

 **Gwen:** ...still think someone should say something...

 

Merlin closed Facebook and spun around slowly in his chair. What was he even going to say?

He took a deep breath and got up. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. When Arthur didn’t acknowledge him, he slid backwards until he was beside him, sitting knee-to-knee with him. He could see the sketch from before in Arthur’s lap. It was still most definitely him, no matter what Arthur said, though he couldn’t figure out why Arthur was drawing him. Again.

“You saw it then,” Arthur croaked.

Merlin swallowed. “Yeah.”

“I’m...I’m sorry. You never should have been brought into it. This is...It’s all me.”

Merlin shrugged. “It’s not like I haven’t been talked about before. Who hasn’t? At least Freya tried to stick up for me.”

Arthur snorted. “Yeah, because she liked you apparently.”

Merlin chuckled. “Apparently.”

He reached out to touch Arthur’s knee but quickly pulled back. That would be something he did to Gwen if they were comforting each other. This was Arthur. He folded his hands in his lap.

“Look, Arthur. You certainly are an arrogant prat, as I’ve always thought you were.” Arthur snorted again. “But I think they should have known what they were getting into as well. I mean, with your reputation...Well, _I_ knew it wouldn’t have any meaning to it. I went into this knowing what to expect. How could _they_ think any differently?”

Arthur sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I kept telling myself. After the first few, I thought it was sort of expected. It never occurred to me that any of them might actually like me. I mean they don’t even _know_ me.” He curled his fingers tighter in his hair. “I know I can be an arse most of the time. Sometimes it’s like I can’t even help it. And I just...I don’t know how or why any of this even started in the first place and now it’s all... _fuck_!”

Arthur’s voice broke and Merlin thought _Shit, this is it, he’s finally started to cry, oh fuck, oh fuck._

And there _were_ teardrops on the page in front of Arthur. Arthur took his hands from his head and placed them on his knees, clenched in tight fists, and took deep, shaky breaths, his eyes closed as he tried to calm himself. It looked like some sort of ritual, like he was used to doing it, and suddenly Merlin couldn’t take watching it.

“Stop it!” he yelled, shoving Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur’s tearful eyes snapped open, shocked. “Don’t...Don’t _do_ that! You’re allowed to have emotions, Arthur. For fuck’s sake, you’re allowed to be a decent human being.”

Apparently Arthur thought otherwise, because after a few seconds of open-mouthed staring, he scrambled from the bed and bolted from the room. Merlin jumped to his feet, worried Arthur might be storming from the house entirely and was relieved when Arthur went just down the hall to the bathroom. He was even more relieved when Arthur didn’t cause a scene by slamming the door, and instead shut it softly.

_Well that went well._

Merlin slumped back onto his bed. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was Arthur who was being a big repressed pillock. And despite the utter _weirdness_ of it, he thought maybe he’d somehow helped. In a way. Even if Arthur was currently having a breakdown in his loo.

Gwen was going to kill him.

Merlin fell back and winced when the metal spiral of Arthur’s sketchbook met the back of his head. Curious, he pulled it from under him and started to look through it.

The first few pages were mostly quick sketches of people. It seemed Arthur was actually a bit of a creeper, because there were various drawings of other students, mostly girls and boys from the lower class if their uniforms were anything to go by. Sometimes there were doodles of random designs or objects in the corners, like an eyeball or a disembodied hand. Some pages were all hands, all eyes, all noses. After one sketch of a girl that looked to be closer to their own age group, there was a whole page full of breasts, as Arthur tried to get the shape right.

And then there was Merlin.

Merlin could hardly believe it at first. There was rough sketch of the same drawing Arthur had given Merlin the day before, more little Merlins in the same sideways-sitting position scattered across the page. Like the noses and breasts and hands, Arthur had repeated it, trying to perfect it. Now Merlin remembered—Arthur had made such a big deal of not getting the line of his jaw right, had even pointed it out to his mum when she was praising him. As Merlin turned page after page, he saw Arthur had done it. He’d drawn Merlin so many times, with so many different expressions, from so many different angles, that he’d finally got it right.

How long could this have taken? The drawing from yesterday was the first; there were almost _twenty_ different versions of Merlin between that and the current one. Had Arthur stayed up all night, frustrated and biting his lip, drawing and erasing until he finally fell asleep? Had he done some in class while he was supposed to be working? And why Merlin? Why draw _him_ over and over again? It couldn’t have just been because of his apparent need to do something until he got it perfect. What if, despite all evidence of Arthur being a heartless twat, Arthur actually _liked_ him?

The thought made Merlin’s stomach flutter again, and his heart raced excitedly. It made sense though. As Arthur had mourned earlier, it _did_ seem like the fates were against them getting around to the fucking bit. So many complications, interruptions. If Arthur really wanted, he could have left and tried to charm someone else, one of the other gay blokes, and it would have been easy. But for some reason, he was willing to stay and push past the difficulties to do this with Merlin. That had to mean something.

And he just wasn’t saying anything because...well, because he was Arthur. Maybe actually having feelings for someone was scaring him, maybe he didn’t want to have feelings for a boy if he could help it, or maybe he just didn’t know how to come out and say it. Now that Merlin thought about, he’d never heard any rumours of Arthur going out on an actual date, just walking people home to shag them.

Merlin heard the bathroom door open and quickly closed the sketchbook, putting it back on the bed behind him. He lay back with his hands behind his head, trying to look like he’d been staring up at the ceiling for the past ten minutes.

He could hardly breathe normally knowing what he now knew about Arthur. He had thoughts whirling around in his head, things like Arthur staring at him through getting himself off that suddenly seemed to make more sense. So when Arthur walked back into the room, a bit red-eyed but just as confident as ever, Merlin could feel his presence like he never had before. He couldn’t remember how to act, what to say around him.

“You better not have looked,” Arthur said, bending over the bed to pick up his sketchbook.

“I-I told you I didn’t care about your stupid little drawings, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, they’re so stupid you showed your mum that shit one I drew.” He pulled the chair away from the desk towards the window and opened his school bag. He seemed about to actually do coursework.

“Well, no one’s ever drawn me before. It was interesting seeing how someone else views me, and I thought I’d share it with her.”

Arthur’s brow furrowed a bit as he no doubt searched for a proper response, but after a few seconds he seemed not to care enough to reply, and took up his pencil to start what looked like maths. Merlin sighed and figured he may as well try to get his own work done if things were going to be like _this_ until bedtime. He did have an essay due on Monday.

Fucking Vivian and her fucking friends ruining the easiness between them.

Merlin got up and unplugged his laptop to work on his bed. He stayed away from Facebook no matter how badly he wanted to see if anything else had been said about him or Arthur. And every time Arthur’s hand went to his pocket, feeling the buzzing vibration of his mobile, he knew Arthur was probably doing the same.

Trying to find the right words for the essay made time pass quickly, and before Merlin knew it the smell of dinner was wafting through his open door. Merlin put his laptop back. He had a feeling it was just about time—his mum said he had a sixth sense when it came to food—and his stomach growled impatiently.

“Come on, Arthur, I think dinner’s ready,” he said, walking from his room. He heard Arthur sigh and get up from the desk chair to follow.

His mum smiled when she saw him enter the kitchen. “I was just about to come up and fetch you boys. Get any schoolwork done?” she asked with a keen eye.

“Yep. Though I’m pretty sure Arthur was just drawing most of the time.”

“Of course, because I need a calculator to draw,” Arthur said.

“Well, you never know, you can be rather daft sometimes.”

“Which must really say something about you because I’m doing way better than you in psychology.”

“Alright boys, that’s enough,” Hunith chided. She handed Merlin a plate of steaming food. “Go sit at the table.”

Merlin took his food and sat down, joined by Arthur and his mum a few seconds later. It was so weird, surreal almost, seeing Arthur sat in his kitchen, under the ugly yellow light above the table. Arthur looked about as uncomfortable as Merlin would expect, but was doing a good job of appearing otherwise for his mum’s sake.

“Did you want to be an artist then, Arthur?” Hunith asked.

Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Sorry, what? You mean like...as a career?”

“Yes.”

“Er, no, I’ve never really thought of that. And I’m hardly good enough to make a living of it. I can’t imagine it pays very well either.”

“You’ve got plenty of natural talent,” she replied, waving the statement away. “You could go to uni for it. Haven’t you applied to any art schools?”

For a moment, Arthur looked like the idea was completely ludicrous, but quickly composed his features and politely said, “No, I haven’t. I’m not really sure what I want to do yet so I just applied where my father told me to.”

Hunith nodded in understanding. “I see. Merlin doesn’t quite know yet either. And, well...it’s certainly not my place to give advice to someone else’s son, but I think you should consider studying art. You do like it, don’t you?”

Arthur pushed food around on his plate and spoke as though he were admitting some horrible secret of which he was ashamed. “Yes.”

“Arthur,” she said, urging him to look up. “If it’s something you enjoy, you should pursue it.”

Arthur pursed his lips like he had a reply on his tongue, but eventually just said, “I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

“What kind of cake are you making, Mum?” Merlin asked quickly to dissolve lingering tension. He saw Arthur’s shoulders sag just a little in relief.

“Strawberry shortcake. I’ve just got to make and add the icing and then it’s done. Should be another two hours or so.” She chewed a bite of food before continuing. “Would you two like to help?”

Merlin agreed right away. He didn’t usually like helping in the kitchen, and his mum never really asked him, but it would be better than sitting in angst-filled, sexually tense silence with Arthur up in his room. Arthur hesitated, but must have thought the same, because then he reluctantly agreed as well.

Merlin smiled to himself as he made a mental note to get his mobile from upstairs after dinner. There was no way he was going to pass up the chance to take a few photos of Arthur Pendragon baking.

/ / /

“Slowly, Merlin, add it slowly!”

“What are you talking about, this _is_ slow!”

Hunith sighed in exasperation. “Let Arthur do it, he’s much better at it.”

Merlin stopped pouring sugar in the mixing bowl to gape in mock horror at his mother. “I thought you loved me!”

Arthur laughed and took the cup of sugar from Merlin’s hands. “Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin. And you _are_ adding it too quickly. You’re hardly giving it time to mix in.”

Merlin leaned against the worktop and crossed his sugar-covered arms. “Are you the expert now, then?”

“Please, it’s common sense. Watch.”

Arthur proceeded to slowly add sugar to the mixture in the bowl, careful not to let his fingers get too close to the mechanical spinning whisk. When it became a bit too thick, he put the sugar down and added a little more cream. As Arthur was concentrated on his task, Merlin pulled his mobile surreptitiously from his pocket and snuck a quick photo.

“Natural talent with cooking too, I see,” Hunith declared proudly.

Arthur didn’t look away, but smiled broadly, beaming from the praise. Merlin took another photo, just because Arthur looked so unbelievably happy, then put his phone away.

“There,” Arthur said, putting the cream down. “Does that look better?”

Hunith peered into the mixing bowl where the icing had definitely started to take on a more textured, fluffy look. “Excellent, Arthur.”

“Only one way to know if it’s perfect,” Merlin said, stepping closer and wiggling his fingers.

Arthur’s smile disappeared as he glared at him. “It’s perfect.”

“Yes, but we don’t know that for sure,” Merlin pressed. He slid his finger along the inside of the mixing bowl before either of them could stop him and put a dollop of icing in his mouth. “Mmm. Not bad. Texture’s a bit off, though.”

“Is not!”

“Is so.”

Hunith interjected before it could go any further. “It’s not finished. We still have to put it in the fridge to thicken it a bit,” she said. “ _Then_ it’ll be done and we can add it to the cake.”

Merlin grinned smugly. “So I was right.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Barely.”

Hunith turned off the mixer and raised the whisk. Merlin’s mouth started watering as he yearned for another taste of unfinished icing. “Mum?”

Hunith sighed and removed the whisk from the mixer. “Oh, alright.”

“Yes!” Merlin reached for it eagerly and started licking, curling his tongue around the coated metal to pull icing back into his mouth. He let out a small moan of appreciation. It was so deliciously sweet.

He got a bit messy trying to turn the whisk at odd angles so he could lick up icing from the curved corners. He felt some get on his nose and wiped it away. Sometimes there was icing in places only his finger could reach, and he licked the acquired sugar secondhand.

Suddenly there was a foreign finger on his chin. Merlin looked up and saw Arthur staring wide-eyed at his mouth as he wiped a bit of icing from low on Merlin’s jaw. His eyes were dilated and his own lips were parted. Merlin blushed as he realised what he must have looked like to him.

Then Arthur’s finger drifted up to Merlin’s lips and Merlin felt dizzy from the amount of blood that suddenly shot downwards. His groin flared up with heat as he puckered his mouth around the digit and sucked the icing from it, curling his tongue around Arthur’s finger as he had the whisk.

“Right, icing’s in the fridge,” Hunith announced happily behind Arthur.

Both of them jumped, and Arthur pulled his finger from Merlin’s mouth. She looked at Merlin with a raised eyebrow, while Arthur dropped his gaze to his feet, wisely deciding to keep his back to her.

“It’ll be about forty-five minutes to an hour,” she continued. “I’m going to watch telly in the living room. Why don’t you boys clean up?”

Merlin nodded. “Sure, Mum.” She left and Merlin heard the TV turn on shortly after.

His attention went back to Arthur when Arthur started chuckling. “Giving us privacy _and_ leaving us with the dishes. How cunning.”

“Oh yes, don’t let the smile fool you. She’s cunning as a fox, my mum,” Merlin said.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “Suppose that’s where you get it from then.”

“Get what?”

Arthur’s brow furrowed a little and he stepped closer, staring deep into Merlin’s eyes as though he were trying to figure something out. “Are you doing this on purpose?”

Merlin blinked. “Doing what?”

“Making me wait. You don’t _really_ have a problem with fucking while your mum’s here, do you? We could have easily finished what we started before, but you were so insistent. Almost suspiciously so.”

“What? What are you even talking about? I told you it would be too weird—”

“And now...With this...” Arthur gestured to the whisk in Merlin’s hand. “It adds up. The waiting, the teasing, all making me want you.”

Merlin gaped, and abruptly gasped when Arthur gripped his arms and pushed him back against the worktop.

“It’s driving me _mad_ with want. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want you.” _Oh my God did he just say that?_ “And it makes sense. The rejection at first, the hesitation second, only letting me suck you off next. Your mum probably wasn’t even close to being home yesterday. You just sent me on my way because you wanted to keep me wanting. And now you’re drawing it out even longer. Now you’re _teasing_ me.”

Merlin couldn’t believe his ears. What Arthur was saying was ridiculous. Incredibly hot, but ridiculous.

“Arthur, I’m...I’m really not that smart,” Merlin said. “I had no idea. Everything I told you was true. I wouldn’t deceive you like that, the thought never even crossed my mind.”

Arthur stared unblinkingly at Merlin, as though trying to force him to confess otherwise. Merlin tried not to wither under his intense gaze, and attempted to slow his heartbeat.

Finally, Arthur nodded. “You’re right. You’re not that smart. There’s just...something about you.”

“A good something?”

Instead of replying, Arthur kissed him. He licked the seam of Merlin’s lips when he wanted entry, and Merlin granted it to him, letting Arthur’s tongue slide next to his own as Arthur stepped closer and pressed their bodies together.

 _Maybe he doesn’t know he likes me,_ Merlin thought as Arthur’s hand came up to the back of his neck. _Or maybe it’s not affection. Maybe it is just all wanting. Extreme, intense desire._

Merlin could relate, honestly. Just because Arthur sketched him over and over again, and made unnerving eye contact during sex, didn’t necessarily indicate feelings. Merlin had been dreaming about Arthur for months, wanting to kiss him as passionately as he was now, but didn’t ever really think he _liked_ Arthur.

However, as the kiss lingered on, going from seconds to minutes, Merlin started to feel like it was much more than just desire. Arthur’s hand cradled Merlin’s face softly even as he kissed like he wanted to conquer, and Merlin could sense the feelings creeping in. Already he had started to _care_ about Arthur. Already he had wished this would be _special_. And he’d got his wish.

Arthur pulled away suddenly, and Merlin momentarily wondered if he could hear his thoughts. But as Arthur took large gulps of air, getting his breath back, and turned away to start rinsing the dishes under the tap, he didn’t look overwhelmed with emotion like Merlin felt. He didn’t look like he just realised all this may mean something more than sex.

Merlin was so confused.

Arthur smirked at him. “Now _you’ve_ been left wanting,” he said.

Merlin shoved him and tried not to appear hurt or puzzled. And he was scared that if he asked Arthur outright if he liked him, he would get the answer he expected.

So he just helped wash the dishes.

/ / /

After cleaning up, they finished an episode of Top Gear with Merlin’s mum, and then, after taking turns spreading icing on the cake—at which Arthur was best, naturally—they waited patiently for Hunith to add the final strawberries on top.

It was late by the time they finally went upstairs, and Merlin had failed to put any Arthur-related worries in the back of his mind. He had tried to remind himself that Arthur was an arrogant prat, that he was selfish and uncaring and stupid and not in the least bit worth fancying. But then he’d think about Arthur standing miserably by the window, or about Arthur saying he knew he was an arse most of the time but sometimes couldn’t help it, or about the photo in his mobile with Arthur smiling like a joyful little boy.

Merlin had to admit, the Arthur currently at his house and the Arthur at school were two completely different people, and he was probably most definitely arse over tit for one of them.

“Goodnight, dear,” Hunith said, kissing the top of Merlin’s head. “Goodnight, Arthur.” She kissed the top of his head as well before disappearing into her room, and Arthur stared wide-eyed after her.

Merlin sighed and took Arthur’s hand, leading him to his bedroom. “Let’s get this over with then.”

Arthur chuckled. “Get it over with? Well excuse me, I didn’t realise it was such a chore. You seemed to want it plenty before.”

Merlin took off his shirt as soon as they reached his room, not wasting time. “I did. I do. But I’m just the first of the guys on your list, yeah? No need to dress it up as anything pretty.” Merlin dropped his trousers and kicked them across the floor.

“What? No, Merlin, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Don’t see why not. You’ve done it to everyone else.”

Merlin retrieved the lube and condom from the bottom drawer where he’d thrown them earlier, and when he turned back around, there it was again, the face that looked like Arthur had bit a lemon. Merlin felt terrible instantly.

“Is this about the Facebook post?” Arthur asked. “I get it if it is. Because they all have a right to hate me, to be angry with me. I wronged them, I know that. And I’m about to wrong you. So if you don’t want to do this, if you want me to leave—”

“I don’t. Want you to leave, I mean.” Merlin took a breath and stepped closer. “I want to do this.” _Even if it’s going to be hell on my emotions later on._

“Good,” Arthur said, relieved. “I want you to do this, Merlin. I’m glad it’s you.”

Merlin felt emotion lump in his throat and swallowed past it. He tried a smile and hoped it worked. “I’d be glad too if I wasn’t the only one naked.”

Arthur’s face stretched in a grin and he glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure the door was shut before yanking Merlin’s pants down. Merlin gasped from the sudden exposure and had to fight the instinct to cover himself.

“ _Now_ you’re the only one naked,” Arthur said, slinking to his knees. Merlin wasn’t hard yet but that would soon be remedied. Arthur took Merlin’s soft cock in his mouth, anchoring his hands on Merlin’s arse, and swallowed him down.

Merlin tossed the lube and condom to the bed so he could put his hands on Arthur’s head. Arthur kept his eyes up at first, but then lowered them to the task, and Merlin let his head fall back.

 _God_ , but that was...It was different starting out soft and getting erect in someone’s mouth. Stiffening between Arthur’s lips, on his tongue, enlarging for Arthur as though he were feeding it to him, was a feeling Merlin had never even thought about before, but it was a nice feeling. It was as though he were giving something to Arthur while Arthur gave him something at the same time.

“ _Fuck_ , I taught you well,” Merlin sighed when Arthur tongue-swiped the tip.

Arthur pulled off, smiling, and Merlin was almost sad, but he knew they had other, better, plans.

“I don’t have to teach you how to fuck, do I? You can manage that by yourself?”

“Think I’ve got it covered. Let’s just hope—” Merlin cut himself off, but Arthur figured it out anyways.

“Yeah. Try not to focus too much on it,” Arthur said, getting to his feet and taking his top off. “Keep your breathing calm. The faster your blood pumps, the more difficult it is too last.”

Merlin laughed. “You looked that up online, didn’t you?”

“I’m the best for a reason, Merlin,” Arthur replied with a raised brow and a small smile. “Experience helps, yes, but like anything worth being good at, you have to do a bit of studying.”

Merlin chuckled again as Arthur shed more clothing. “Your Google search history must be an adventure.”

“Oh, it’s a sex odyssey.” Arthur rid himself of his pants, the last of his modesty gone with his erection freed, and pulled Merlin to him. “Can we be done talking now?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just kissed him.

Merlin wasn’t surprised by the act itself, but he was a bit surprised at how Arthur did it. It was slow, like the first few seconds of their first kiss against the desk, and didn’t accelerate into desperation. Merlin was a little thrown off; he thought he’d kissed Arthur for long enough periods of time by now to know the game, but this gentle kissing was something completely new.

Even when Arthur pushed him back onto the bed and joined their lips again, it was with passionate slowness. Until then, he’d kept tongues out of it for the most part, just teasing flicks to the inside of Merlin’s lip. Now that he was pressing down on Merlin, he let his tongue slide forward, deeper, and Merlin welcomed it into his mouth gladly, sucking it greedily and making Arthur moan, all in the slow pace Arthur set.

They seemed to be on the same mental wavelength as well, because just when Merlin was wondering if they were going to get on with it—not that this slow kissing wasn’t nice now that they had the time to enjoy it—Arthur pulled away from his mouth and started leaving kisses on Merlin’s neck, across his collarbone, down his chest. He seemed intent on getting to know every part of Merlin’s torso, and Merlin arched his back, offering himself up and encouraging Arthur with a hand on the back of his head. It felt so good, so uncharacteristically tender, that Merlin could even forgive him when he reached between the space of Merlin’s back and the bed and trailed his fingertips up Merlin’s spine, making him shudder.

He didn’t think Arthur would start sucking him off again when he reached his cock, but Arthur did kiss that too, just three wet pecks against the shaft before rubbing his parted lips over it. Merlin had to hold his breath watching it, and as he stroked Arthur’s hair, giving the only praise he wordlessly could at the moment, he knew that the warmth flooding his body wasn’t just from the attention.

He _liked_ Arthur. Freya’s words on Facebook were right. He’d _fallen_ for Arthur Pendragon.

But he knew that already, didn’t he? In some far off corner of his mind, he knew that only people really smitten had near-nightly dreams about someone. He’d figured out down in the kitchen how much _more_ this meant to him than it should. Putting it into words like that though— _I like Arthur. I want Arthur to like me_ —it made things a little bit more real.

Arthur briefly sucked one of Merlin’s balls, bringing him back to the moment, and smiled up at him. For a moment it felt like someone had wrapped bony fingers around Merlin’s heart and squeezed. Arthur couldn’t know that, of course, and sat up on his knees to reach back for the condom and lube before moving his legs to straddle Merlin like he had hours before.

“Take two?” Arthur said, grinning happily. He slid his cock next to Merlin’s a little to jumpstart Merlin into movement.

Merlin took a deep breath and forced himself not to think too much, otherwise it would ruin everything. He offered Arthur a smile of his own and took the lube, pumping the handle down to squirt onto his hand.

“Yeah. Lean forward?”

Arthur didn’t just lean forward, he started kissing Merlin again, kissing him like he cared. The tenderness hurt as much as it felt amazing, so Merlin focused on the amazing part. If this was the first and last time he was to have this, he wanted good memories. As he moved his hand back to Arthur’s arse, trailing with his thumb as he had before, he wondered if this was what all the others had felt like, the ones that had wanted Arthur for more than just sex but knew it would never be anything else.

Arthur’s body tensed at the first push of Merlin’s finger inward, but quickly relaxed. Arthur even rocked back onto it, taking it deeper, so Merlin circled his finger and stretched him even more. It seemed Arthur was still a bit open from earlier.

Arthur stopped kissing him when Merlin tried adding a third, and ducked his head down into the curve of Merlin’s throat, breathing unsteadily. His arms above Merlin’s head came down to hang loosely about Merlin’s neck, and he gasped Merlin’s name as though he were saying it from the depths of his soul. Merlin had never heard such emotion ring out in one single word before. From anyone. Ever.

“Merlin.”

A surge of power swelled up inside him and he pulled his fingers out, rolling deftly until he had Arthur on his back looking up at him. Arthur’s eyes were surprised, and the blue circles seemed to be shaking as they searched Merlin’s face for something.

“What the hell are you doing to me?”

Arthur said it fairly softly, but when Merlin finally deciphered the whisper, he could have laughed. And he could have replied any number of ways.

_Fucking you. Ruining you. What you told me to do._

Instead he said nothing. He couldn’t handle the way Arthur was staring at him so openly, he couldn’t handle the raw emotion he saw in the Arthur below him. Merlin separated himself from Arthur’s embrace to pick up the condom, and tore it open with trembling fingers. He worked it carefully on, trying to shake the image of Arthur smiling brilliantly down in his kitchen as Arthur rolled onto his front and hitched a leg up.

This was it then. Slide right in, fuck him until he comes, and then it’s over. That was always the plan. No need to complicate things.

Merlin aligned himself along Arthur’s back, propping himself up with his left elbow on the bed while he held his cock straight. Arthur’s words came back to him and he tried to keep his breathing calm, to not let his heart pound too fast as he pushed inside. Arthur felt wonderful around him, his tight heat swallowing him, pulling him in after the first resistance, and Merlin fought not to shove the rest of the way. When he was half buried, he placed his palm on a cheek and spread it, just a little, so he could watch as his cock disappeared deeper inside. And then he was there, and he let out a shuddered breath.

“Fuck,” Arthur panted. He was breathing so hard Merlin could see his chest expand and contract.

“Not what you expected?”

“I...I guess you could say that. Feels bigger than it is.”

Merlin snorted despite himself and pinched a pert cheek between his thumb and forefinger. Arthur clenched around him and it took Merlin’s breath away.

“Come on then,” Arthur encouraged, reaching back to grab Merlin’s thigh and bring him somehow closer. “Do it.”

Merlin swallowed past another lump in his throat and was suddenly glad they weren’t doing this face to face. He slid his hand up Arthur’s back, briefly marvelling at the firmness of the muscles beneath the skin, until he got to Arthur’s shoulder. He curled his fingers, anchoring his hand there, and pulled out just enough to give a powerful thrust.

“ _Ah_ , God!” Arthur gasped.

Merlin had similar sentiments. His vision went a little hazy around the edges from the feel of it, but he kept it up, kept pulling back and shoving in until he struck up a rhythm, his thrusts keeping time with Arthur’s sharp intakes of breath. As Merlin exerted himself more, starting to sweat from the pressure building inside him, his own panting filled the room as well.

At some point Arthur’s hand had made its way to Merlin’s hair, pulling it and forcing Merlin to keep his head close to Arthur’s. He buried his face between Arthur’s shoulder blades, his forehead pressed against the nape of Arthur’s neck as he jerked his hips forward harder, faster. He didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want this to end, but he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“A-Arthur...Fuck, you feel so good, Arthur.”

Arthur just kept gasping and moaning as he was repeatedly penetrated, but he did let his grip loosen on Merlin’s hair. His hand slid down to Merlin’s cheek, cupping his face backwards while somehow managing to be gentle even in this heated moment.

“You’re so fucking perfect, Merlin.”

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and came. He pressed flush against Arthur’s back and held him close as his cock throbbed deep inside, and the resulting feeling of connection was so intense that he could feel his heart bursting with affection only seconds before it broke from the knowledge that it meant nothing.

_You’re perfect...but it’s still just a shag._

Merlin only opened his eyes when he felt Arthur clenching around his oversensitive cock, and realised Arthur had reached between his body and the bed to finish himself. He felt guilty for a moment, but he hadn’t been told to finish Arthur, he’d been told to fuck him. Merlin then felt a bitter sense of satisfaction, and pulled out slowly. Arthur winced a little.

Merlin considered just throwing the condom on his pile of clothes and hoping his mum didn’t come in between now and the morning to see it lying there, but the lights were on and he never could sleep with the lights on. He got up with a sigh and tossed the condom in the waste bin on his way to flicking the switch off, and when he turned back to the bed, Arthur was half under the duvet looking up at Merlin with heavy-lidded eyes.

Merlin swallowed. “So how’d you like getting fucked?”

Arthur smiled. “Wasn’t bad.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and picked up Arthur’s pants from the floor to wipe the come from the duvet. Arthur looked affronted.

“Your come, your pants,” Merlin said.

Arthur sighed and let his head fall back to the pillow. “Whatever. Guess it’ll have dried by  tomorrow.”

Merlin crawled over Arthur’s prone body and slipped beneath the duvet next to him. He didn’t usually sleep naked—actually, he never had—but if Arthur wasn’t going to put any clothes on, he wasn’t either. He pulled the duvet over his shoulders and curled up on his side away from Arthur.

It wasn’t two minutes before Merlin felt Arthur turning over, and he mentally groaned. It wasn’t going to be _that_ sort of bed-sharing experience, was it?

But apparently Arthur just had something to say. “Merlin?”

Merlin turned his head, nearly twisting his neck entirely to look over his shoulder at Arthur. “Hmm?”

Arthur surprised him with a quick kiss, then surprised him even more with his words. “Thank you for tonight. For everything. I’m happy I stayed.”

Merlin felt his heart clench again but pushed down the feeling. “No problem. I got to fuck Arthur Pendragon. That’s a reward in itself.”

Arthur chuckled, but it sounded a bit hollow. “At least someone still thinks so. It might not be that way for long.”

Merlin stared at him a few seconds, trying to memorise the human version of Arthur now partially illuminated by moonlight before it went away for good. Then he turned back over.

“Go to sleep, Arthur.”

Arthur lay back down and turned on his side. “Goodnight, Merlin.”

/ / /

Merlin blinked his eyes open but abruptly shut them again against the harsh sunlight. He came to a couple sudden realisations: the first, that he was completely naked, but for some reason wasn’t shivering his arse off. The second, that the reason why he wasn’t shivering his arse off was because of the body curled around him, the arm wrapped around his waist and holding him close. And as he tried moving a bit, he also realised that the body behind him was just as naked, and had a rather prominent erection poking his back.

The realisations only took about three groggy seconds to hit him, and it took him another two to remember that the someone in his bed was Arthur. Somehow they’d ended up tangled in each other during the night, probably due to sleeping naked, which Merlin was still wondering whether or not was a good idea. It could mean another round of sex—probably with less kissing, because morning breath, how about _no_ —or it could mean just another moment of uncharacteristic tenderness that was going to be a blade in Merlin’s heart when the time to separate came around.

When Merlin heard a phone buzzing loudly, he guessed it was going to be the latter.

He didn’t move, because it couldn’t have been his own mobile. Gwen wouldn’t ring him this early on a Saturday—not that Merlin even knew what time it was or if it was early at all—and he was pretty sure his mobile didn’t vibrate so loudly. His was more of a soft buzz, not an angry zinging.

Also, whoever was calling was insistent. It went on long enough to rouse Arthur, who awoke with a groan and buried his face in Merlin’s back to block out the sun.

“Go away,” he whined.

“I don’t think phones work like that,” Merlin said.

Arthur sighed and rolled over. Merlin felt the bed dip as Arthur reached across the floor for his mobile.

“What?”

“Where are you?!”

The voice on the other end was so loud, even Merlin could hear it. Arthur groaned, no doubt annoyed by the volume this soon after waking up.

“I’m at a friend’s house. Why do you care?”

“Oh, no reason, I’d just like to know where my son is in case someone asks me and I can avoid looking utterly _incompetent_. What kind of idiotic parent loses track of their own child?”

“You do, apparently.”

“Arthur, so help me, I will—”

The angry voice became muffled when Arthur pulled the phone away from his ear and put it down on the duvet with a long-suffering sigh. Merlin peeked over his shoulder and saw Arthur laying on his back rubbing his temples.

“That your dad?” he asked.

Arthur’s eyelashes fluttered open. “Yeah. Sorry, he can be a bit loud.”

Merlin shrugged a shoulder. “It’s fine. My mum has yelled at me before.”

Arthur raised a brow.

“I did tell you I skipped school a couple times, didn’t I? Not to mention the party I got a bit too pissed at.” The same party where he’d lost his arse virginity. _That_ had been a good party.

“So you do know how to have fun,” Arthur said with a teasing grin.

“Told you I wasn’t unadventurous.”

Arthur’s father was all out bellowing on the mobile now. “ _Arthur! Arthur, are you listening to me, you ingrate?!_ ”

Arthur put the phone to his ear again. “Yeah, I’ll be home in an hour. Just give me time to get dressed.”

“Oh for the love of...The Godwyns are coming over for dinner tonight, so try to be somewhat decent. Try to be—”

“Perfect. Yeah, I know. Like I said, I’ll be home in an hour. Bye.” Arthur ended the call with a jab of his thumb to the screen. He looked at Merlin like he wanted to say something, or a bit like he was studying him, then said, “I should get out of here.”

Merlin fought back the urge to ask for another kiss, or at least a touch, or if his dad always acted like that, and just nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you at school.”

Merlin lay in bed watching Arthur dress, feeling a bit like he was watching Arthur put on armour. Arthur smoothed his hair down, but then apparently decided he didn’t care, and ran a hand through it to mess it up again. He put his school books back into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. When he finally had a hand on the doorknob, he hesitated.

“Sorry,” he said suddenly, turning around. “Not just for the Facebook thing. For everything after.”

Merlin furrowed his brow in confusion, but couldn’t exactly ask Arthur what he meant as he was leaving. Everything after what? Despite the feelings that had got in the way, Merlin had had a brilliant time.

Merlin was still trying to make sense of the words when Arthur hesitated again while closing the door behind him. Arthur just stared at him, frowning.

“What?”

Arthur seemed to have to mentally push himself to say the words. “When the sun shines through your ears...” Already there was a blush over Arthur’s face. “You...look majestic.”

He shut the door and finally left, though perhaps fleeing was more like it. Merlin’s hands went to his ears where the sun was warming them and he smiled.

Arthur Pendragon just called him majestic.

/ / /

The rest of the weekend was a mix of uneventfulness and wallowing in self-pity. Merlin met up with Gwen to hang out, and after raiding her dad’s alcohol supply, he told her more about the evening he spent with Arthur. She demanded to see the photo of him baking, and after being chased around the room, Merlin gave in. She spent ten minutes giggling uncontrollably and _awww_ -ing while Merlin tried not to feel disgusted with himself for showing her. He finished the bottle alone and sat slumped against the bed, muttering something about “pathetic” and “meaningless” and “majestic.” Eventually he got sick and passed out on Gwen’s floor as soon as he stumbled out of the bathroom.

Sunday was spent mostly trying in vain to forget, and Merlin alternated between doing coursework and wanking. There was even one particularly sorry session late that night where Merlin cried a little as he got himself off, but he resolutely did _not_ think of that by the time Monday rolled around, and was determined to erase that memory from existence as soon as it was over.

He’d been dreading going to school and having to confront Arthur, but it was strangely normal. Well, he got weird looks, some pitiful and some rather antagonistic, but for the most part nothing had changed. He didn’t even _see_ Arthur until psychology, and would have thought he’d bunked off if it weren’t for them sharing a class.

Arthur was sitting at his usual seat in the back, and was having a rather intimate conversation with the girl beside him Merlin recognised as Helena. She had stars in her eyes and the most ridiculously delighted smile Merlin had ever seen, and when Arthur brushed hair out of her face with the tip of his pen she positively glowed. Merlin felt like a dagger was twisting in his stomach as he took his seat.

“Oh my God, did you _draw_ that?” Helena’s astonished voice asked, raising in volume enough to be audible over the other students.

Merlin didn’t hear Arthur’s low response, but then Helena said, “Huh. It kind of looks like—”

“Oh, _shit_. I mean, no, it’s no one. Just a...a random character sketch. So...How about I walk you home today?”

“Really?!” Helena exclaimed. “I’d really love that, Arthur. But, um, just to be sure...You don’t...you don’t have anything, do you?”

Arthur’s laugh was loud and Merlin didn’t have to look over his shoulder to know he’d thrown his head back in that stupidly beautiful way he did.

“Helena, if I had anything, I wouldn’t have asked you. Is that truly what you think of me?”

Helena’s voice was full of admiration. “I think you’re wonderful, Arthur.”

Merlin grit his teeth and tried not to pound his head against the table.

/ / /

Tuesday didn’t go any better. In fact, Tuesday was worse. Tuesday was when Merlin got into a fight. With a girl.

He’d been aware that the stares were sometimes accompanied by whispers, whispers that the sweet, good, little fairy Merlin had been used and thrown away by the great Arthur Pendragon, that it really was a shame what had happened to him, unexpected or not. And he knew that for some reason, his involvement with Arthur had seemed to make most of the girls snap out of their idolisation of Arthur, because once a boy is brought into the picture everyone just goes insane.

But Merlin had managed to avoid Facebook and overhearing anything particularly nasty about Arthur at school. Until he caught a fragment of conversation courtesy of no other than Vivian.

He’d been on his way to the common room to meet with Gwen when he passed by her group at the entrance.

“...doesn’t care about anyone but himself and is a heartless _fiend_. I swear Arthur doesn’t have a single decent bone in his body,” Vivian spat viciously.

“That’s not true!” Merlin had shouted it before he even realised he had opened his mouth. But he was sick of Vivian and her stupid lies. He didn’t have anywhere near the amount of self control Arthur seemed to possess. And a few people nearby had started staring. Gwen, peering from the common room, was one of them.

Elena gave him a sympathetic look and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Merlin. It’s happened to all of us.”

Vivian crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall, eyeing Merlin up and down disdainfully. “Well, I guess he did have _your_ bone in him, and you’re certainly not all bad. But even that’s gone now.”

Merlin saw red and before he knew what he was doing he grabbed her and threw her against the wall on the opposite side of the corridor. He didn’t even think he was that strong or could do anything so violent. But he’d never been so angry before.

She didn’t appear hurt, just remarkably shocked, but Merlin still felt a wave of remorse. What had he just _done_? And in defence of Arthur, who hadn’t even _looked_ at him since Saturday morning?

“Mr Emrys!”

Merlin went rigid with fear. Shit shit shit. That was Mr Aredian’s voice, the head of sixth form. Of course the only time Merlin acted out, he would be in the vicinity.

Mr Aredian walked between Merlin and the shaken up Vivian. “My office. Both of you. _Now_.”

Merlin followed with his heart in his throat, wanting the floor to swallow him up and make him disappear. Or at least for everyone to stop staring at him.

/ / /

“This is absolutely not my fault,” Vivian declared as soon as the door closed to Mr Aredian’s office. “That—That _loser_ attacked me!”

“Please, Vivian, take a seat. You too, Merlin.”

Merlin walked to the seat and sat down as though it were going to suddenly sprout chains and strap him in. He’d never been in this much trouble. Ever.

Mr Aredian was just as taken aback as Merlin. “I must say, Merlin, I’m surprised at you. You’ve never done anything so out of conduct. A few convenient doctor’s notes here and there, but otherwise an excellent student. So please, tell me what this is about.”

Merlin swallowed and cracked his knuckles nervously. “Um...”

Vivian sighed in exasperation. “It’s about Arthur Pendragon.”

Mr Aredian’s eyebrows raised in recognition. “Ah. I see.” He picked up his phone and spoke into it. “Please send Arthur Pendragon to my office. Thank you.”

Merlin panicked. “Wh-What? No, you can’t, this isn’t about him, I did attack her, I—”

Mr Aredian held up a hand. “This is not the first time someone’s been in an...altercation over Mr Pendragon. But it will certainly be the last.”

“He didn’t _do_ anything,” Merlin insisted, sliding forward on his seat.

Vivian scoffed. “What _hasn’t_ he done? Or rather, who?”

“That’s enough, Ms Swold. I’m sure it was your...outspoken opinion of Mr Pendragon that caused such an uncharacteristic change in Merlin today.”

“It’s not my fault that fairy boy is too soft to handle to truth.”

Merlin clenched his fists in anger and turned on her. “Shut up!”

“You see?” Mr Aredian gestured to him. “Now, once Arthur gets here, we’ll clear everything up.”

As if on cue, Arthur opened the door and walked in. Merlin unclenched his fists and sat back in his seat, wishing again that Arthur didn’t go to this school.

“You wanted to see me?” Arthur said, plopping down in the seat between Merlin and Vivian. He sat so casually, with his legs stretched out and his hands folded over his stomach, that Merlin was a little jealous he could be so confident.

“Yes, it seems Mr Emrys here attacked Ms Swold because of something she said about you,” Mr Aredian explained.

Arthur looked at Merlin in surprise. “ _Really_? Didn’t think you had it in you, Emrys. Seriously though, you shouldn’t have.”

“I agree,” Vivian said. “You’re hardly worth it.”

“No arguments there,” Arthur said, holding up his hands. Vivian snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, well, it’s come to my attention that this isn’t the first time girls have disagreed over you,” Mr Aredian interrupted. “Well, er, a girl and Merlin, that is.” Arthur looked highly amused and Merlin hid his face in his hands. “I thought this time I’d get to the root of the problem—”

“Hey, I’m not _making_ anyone fight over me,” Arthur said.

“No, they are responsible for their own actions. But your treatment of them has been the cause of too many incidents and I believe the issue stems from within—”

“ _What?_ ”

“—which is why I’m requiring you to see the counsellor, Mr Kilgharrah—”

Arthur was on his feet in seconds. “You can’t be serious.”

“—every Thursday after school until he assures me that the issue is resolved.”

“I don’t need to see a fucking _counsellor_!” Arthur yelled.

“Necessary or not, that is exactly what you’ll be doing. Your behaviour has been a plague upon the sixth form students for long enough, Mr Pendragon, and you’re lucky I’m not getting your father involved. Do _not_ make me have to get your father involved.”

Arthur seethed with rage a few seconds, and Merlin lowered his hands just to see what he looked like. His shoulders were tensed, his whole body taut, and Merlin could see the veins in his arms bulging out of the muscle. It was a bit scary, but Merlin felt strangely turned on.

He glanced at Vivian and she was smirking at him knowingly.

“Fine,” Arthur spat. He leaned forward onto the desk. “But nothing happens to Merlin. Send them both out of here with a warning.”

Mr Aredian arched a brow and even Merlin had to admit that was a bit too much, practically _ordering_ the head of sixth to overlook the consequences of assault.

“Mr Pendragon—”

“Or I’ll tell my father myself. I’ll tell him you think his son is mental enough to have to see some shrink, and what will be intolerable for just me will become intolerable for both of us. You _know_ his involvement won’t be enjoyable. For anyone.”

Mr Aredian didn’t seem to budge at all, but then his lips thinned and his resolve wavered. “You’re all dismissed.”

Merlin sighed in relief.

“After Mr Emrys apologises.”

Merlin turned to Vivian and swallowed his pride. “I’m truly sorry, Vivian, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Arthur Pendragon came over you.” Merlin blushed because she really had no idea how true that was. “Don’t worry about it, love, happens to the best of us. He certainly has a way of getting inside your head, doesn’t he?” She stood up and smoothed down her skirt. “Don’t let it happen again, though. You don’t want to get on my bad side.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder and left.

Merlin got to his feet to leave as well, wanting to put as much distance between this whole situation and himself as he could as quickly as possible. But just as he reached the door, Mr Aredian called him back.

“Oh, and Mr Emrys? Stay away from Arthur. The last thing a boy like you needs is to get mixed up with someone like him.”

Merlin looked over his shoulder and saw Arthur stepping away from the desk, his head lowered and his body void of all tension at last.

“I really don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Merlin said.

/ / /

As expected, Gwen caught up with Merlin the second she saw him, which was right after his last class. She ran up beside him and hooked her arm in his, holding him between her pinched elbow so he couldn’t get away. Not that he would have tried escaping anyways. She just would have rang him nonstop until he answered.

“What the _hell_ happened today?”

Merlin avoided her gaze, looking at his feet. “I pushed Vivian Swold into a wall.”

“Yeah, I got that much. I meant _why_?”

“She was saying things about Arthur. Things that weren’t true. She called him heartless.”

“Merlin—”

“You saw that photo, Gwen!” Merlin insisted, finally meeting her eyes. “Yeah you were just as pissed as I was, but you saw it. You _know_ he’s not like what Vivian says.”

“Merlin, of course I know. I’m the one who told you in the first place. But we don’t shove people into walls just because they make us angry. Honestly, Merlin, I can’t believe you would do something like that. That’s so unlike you.”

Merlin snorted. “You think _I_ can believe it? The last time I got into a fight was because someone said something about my dad. And that was _years_ ago.” He sighed and covered his eyes with his hand as they exited the building into the brighter, natural light. “Aredian told me to stay away from Arthur. And he’s making Arthur see a counsellor.”

“Arthur was there?”

“Yeah. Aredian called him in when he heard what it was about.”

“I bet that went well.”

“About as well as you’d expect.”

Merlin stopped in his tracks when they reached the pavement across the street from the school. Arthur was straight ahead, leaning against a wall talking to Tommy, the boy known for his constantly changing hair colours.

The _gay_ boy known for his constantly changing hair colours.

“Merlin, just breathe,” Gwen said, squeezing his arm more firmly. “Merlin.”

“He...He said he wouldn’t.” Despite Gwen’s instructions to breathe, Merlin found he suddenly couldn’t. His knees were weak and the sharp twisting pain in his stomach was back in full force. “I could have guessed about the girls, but he said...before we...he said he wouldn’t do this to me. That I was the only guy.”

“And you believed him?”

Merlin spun around at Vivian’s voice, following her with his eyes as she walked up beside them.

“Tommy, huh? Didn’t figure that’d be his next move,” Vivian continued. “I sort of thought he’d stick with the sassy brunettes when it came to blokes, but then he _will_ fuck anything.” Merlin tried to push down the tears welling up in his eyes as she gave him another of her considering looks. “Like I said. Heartless.”

Gwen waited until Vivian had gone to speak. “Okay, I sort of see why you pushed her. But look, Merlin. You have to forget about Arthur. Take Aredian’s advice—stay away from him. That means physically _and_ emotionally.”

Merlin was trying. He was really fucking trying. But as he watched Arthur lean forward to kiss Tommy’s cheek and walk away, he realised he’d just have to try harder.

/ / /

Merlin didn’t have very many hobbies with which to distract himself. He didn’t have drawing like Arthur did, and he couldn’t write sad poetry like a normal depressed teenager—not to mention it was too introspective and made him think too hard about his sorry life—and he didn’t have any sports he was fond of either. If he used his computer too much he’d be tempted to go to Facebook, and that was out of the question. And he could only focus so much on coursework before going mad.

His mum—godsend that she was—reminded him when he was looking particularly bored that they had Netflix, and he started spending most of his free hours streaming programmes from there. The distraction even kept him out of Facebook, and it was nice to lose himself to other people’s problems, to watch episode after episode of drama that wasn’t his own.

Merlin managed to pass almost three weeks that way—days spent at school, evenings spent curled up under the duvet with the Netflix app on his mobile, weekends spent getting plastered with Gwen. He only saw Arthur in psychology, and even then it wasn’t really seeing him. Walking in the corridor, Merlin kept his head down most of the time, avoiding any possibility of seeing Arthur with anyone else, male or female.

Until the Friday that Arthur came up to him in the common room while he was sitting on the window ledge with Gwen. Merlin had a sudden sense of déjà vu, only this time it wasn’t a fluttering in his gut Merlin felt.

“I think we should talk,” Arthur said.

“ _I_ think you should fuck off,” Gwen snapped. “You’ve put him through enough.”

Merlin gaped at her. “Gwen!”

Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Is that what you want, Merlin? Do you want me to fuck off?”

Gwen gripped Merlin’s elbow. “Remember what I told you, Merlin.”

Right. That Arthur wasn’t as selfish or arrogant as people believed, but he certainly wasn’t a good guy either. That he was dangerous to be around because people who got close to him only ended up getting their feelings hurt. That people fell for Arthur Pendragon, but Arthur Pendragon didn’t fall for anybody.

Merlin looked between them, biting his lip. How was it that even now he wanted to kiss Arthur, that he wanted to go back to that moment in the bed Saturday morning, even after all that had happened?

“Aredian told me to stay away from you,” Merlin said.

“He may be the head of sixth form, but he has no power over who anyone sees. As far as I’m concerned, he was just making a suggestion.”

“And was he right to make that suggestion? Because you certainly didn’t seem to have a problem with it before.”

“I...thought it’d be easier.”

“Thought what would be easier?”

Arthur looked around, gritting his teeth in frustration. “Look, can we talk somewhere else? Or at least alone?”

Merlin glanced at Gwen, who only held his arm tighter. He wouldn’t have minded if Gwen left, but apparently she had no intention of doing so. “No,” he said.

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright, fine. Merlin, that morning, I told you I was sorry, didn’t I? Before I left, I apologised for everything after. I thought you _got_ that. I could tell you’d be one of _those_ , I could tell from the way you—” Arthur looked around quickly and leaned closer, lowering his voice. “—I could tell from the way you fucked me. And I didn’t want you to end up like the others who got too close. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

Merlin was speechless, even thoughtless a few seconds. He drew a complete blank and couldn’t do anything but stare incoherently.

Then it all seemed to build up into something he could barely contain. He yanked his arm from Gwen’s and grabbed hold of Arthur’s, pulling him roughly toward the closest bathroom. There were more than a few stares and whispers, but Merlin didn’t care about anything else at the moment.

He pushed Arthur inside and Arthur nearly fell into a basin.

“You really are completely fucking mental, you know that?” Merlin hissed. “I wasn’t sure before, but now I’m positive.”

“What?”

“I _told_ you when you were crying your pathetic eyes out in my room that I went into it knowing it was just sex. So don’t accuse me of—of having _feelings_ for you based on some intuition you got while I had my cock in you.”

“You don’t...you don’t like me?”

“No, I don’t fucking like you! I _hate_ you!”

Arthur looked like he’d just had a sword shoved through his chest, and he shook his head, refusing to believe it. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean that. There was...there was _something_ , I know there was.”

“Even if there was, you can’t just say ‘sorry for everything after’ and make everything right. You can’t tell me that you’ve never wanted anything so badly in your life and then turn around and—and kiss Tommy!”

“I never kissed Tommy!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Arthur. I saw it with my own eyes. You kissed him, after you said you wouldn’t do that to me.”

Arthur stepped forward, hands out pleadingly. “I didn’t do anything with him. _He_ came to me. I told him I don’t take requests. I let him down easy. That kiss on the cheek was just...It was nothing.”

Merlin took a few steps back, putting more space between them. He didn’t want to give away how hurt he was, but he had to know. “And you’re telling the truth? Not Tommy, not anyone else?”

“There’s only been two since you, Helena and...” Arthur furrowed his brow. “Helena and...someone. I don’t think I ever got her name actually. But even if girls are still a bit boring, I haven’t checked any other blokes off my list. Not that there’s a list,” he added hurriedly.

Arthur started walking forward again so Merlin walked back, until he hit a wall.

“I _know_ I can’t just say sorry and make everything right,” Arthur said. “But I thought it would at least make things easier for you. For me.”

“Why the hell would things have to be easier for you?”

“I don’t _enjoy_ seeing the people I hook up with get hurt, Merlin, no matter what anyone else says. I couldn’t stand seeing you so...so sad these past few weeks. If you really are one of the people that hate me now—”

“Why?” Merlin interjected. “Why do you do it, then?”

Arthur laughed humourlessly. “You know that stupid counsellor Kilgharrah asked me the same thing? I couldn’t give him an answer either. I don’t have one.”

He’d told Merlin that he didn’t know. When he’d been on the verge of tears, he’d said that he didn’t know how or why it even started. Merlin remembered that now.

Arthur came closer and Merlin tried in vain to back away. “Listen, Merlin. I know you have no reason to believe me, but...please believe me when I say you are the last person I wanted to hurt. Even before spending that night with you, it was...different for me. There was something about you.”

Merlin’s heart skipped at the words, and he nearly didn’t get his next question out. “A good something?”

Merlin could distinguish the exact moment Arthur decided he was going to kiss him. Even then, he let it happen, let the moment where he could have stopped it come and go, until Arthur’s lips were pressed against his and he felt whole again. He let Arthur’s hands touch him and it was like being put back together. He let Arthur pull him closer, embrace him, and it was like finding peace.

Then he remembered that whether Arthur wanted to hurt him or not, he had, and would again. Because that’s what Arthur always did.

“No!” Merlin exclaimed, pushing Arthur away. “I don’t hate you, Arthur. But you don’t get to do this to me, not again. You make up your mind about what you want, and when you’re done trying to mess with my head, then maybe I’ll talk to you again. Until then, just stay the hell away from me.”

Merlin left before Arthur could say anything to change his mind. The agonised face in the mirror already had him half-way there.

/ / /

When Merlin’s mum next saw him later that evening, she apparently had had enough of Merlin’s moping around, because she called him out on it at dinner.

“Something’s wrong.”

“I’m a teenager, isn’t something always wrong?”

“Merlin.”

Merlin sighed and twirled his fork in his mash. “It’s nothing.”

“And would that be just a small something nothing or a big something nothing?”

Merlin pursed his lips, thinking. “I guess it depends on your world view of things.”

“You know...Arthur hasn’t been around lately.”

Merlin looked up at her, hoping she wouldn’t feel the need to press further. “He only came by the once.”

“So he’s not your boyfriend?”

Merlin frowned into his plate miserably. “He’s not even my friend. He’s just...He’s just the school slag. He was only ever here for sex.”

Hunith was quiet long enough for Merlin to think she’d given up the topic entirely. And she would have had a good reason, because Merlin could imagine hearing one’s son admit to inviting someone over for meaningless sex might be a little disappointing. She had probably thought much more of his character.

“He seemed to get much more than just sex,” she said at last. Merlin tried not to cringe at hearing her say that word. Again.

Then he huffed a laugh. “Yeah. You sort of complicated things. No offence.”

“None taken. But I think you’re glad I complicated things. I think maybe even Arthur is glad.”

Merlin figured he ought to stop playing with his food and actually take a bite. When he finished chewing, he said, “Well, he did say he was happy he stayed. He even thanked me.”

“See?”

“And his dad does seem rather strict, at least on the phone he did. I doubt his family is the sort to make dessert on Fridays.”

“Which that photo on your mobile would only be further proof of,” she added with a knowing smile.

“Oh. So you saw that.”

“I did.”

“It hardly matters now,” Merlin said. “Our, er, business is done. So to speak.”

“Ah, now we get to it. So it’s a big something nothing.”

Merlin sighed. “I mean. I guess. Sort of. I have Netflix.”

“And if I took away Netflix?”

“Oh God, please don’t take away Netflix.”

Hunith laughed. “Alright. But have you told him how you feel?”

“Well, today I sort of told him I don’t like him. At all.”

His mum sighed.

“But Mum, he spent three weeks thinking—rather correctly—that I did like him, and all he did was ignore me just like before. And today he _basically_ tried to apologise for hurting me because he didn’t like seeing me sad. Which is all kinds of fucked up—”

“Merlin.”

“Well, it is. If he can’t handle seeing the people he hurts be this way, maybe he shouldn’t hurt them in the first place.”

“Maybe he needs to talk to someone.”

Merlin snorted. “Yeah, the head of sixth tried that by making him see a counsellor. Load of good that’s doing.”

“He has friends, doesn’t he?”

“Yes. I think. I know he hangs around with Percival and...Leon, I think his name is. There’s a few people he’s close with, I’ve seen him with them in the common room and at lunch. It’s not like he’s a loner or anything.”

“Hmm.”

Merlin knew that face. That was her idea face. “What?”

“Maybe he needs a new friend.”

“Mum. I don’t think that’s even an option. We seem to be pretty...attracted to each other. And either way, I don’t think I can handle being so close to him without actually _having_ him.”

Merlin hadn’t even thought about it, and it was strange admitting it to himself at the same time he admitted it to his mother.

“That _is_ problematic.”

Merlin nodded solemnly. “At least I’m not a chemistry teacher with cancer who’s also a secret crystal meth drug lord.”

“Merlin, there is such a thing as too much Netflix.”

“Mum, I seriously think these Mexicans are about to catch up to him.”

/ / /

The next week, Arthur went from totally ignoring Merlin to being just awkward. Merlin still kept his head down, but Arthur’s change in behaviour seemed to cause a ripple effect throughout the whole sixth form. He could still be seen standing around talking with his mates, sometimes laughing at their jokes, but he didn’t do a whole lot of talking himself. For the first time in... _ever_ , Arthur Pendragon had gone quiet.

Merlin tried not to pay too much attention, and was still religiously avoiding Facebook, but Gwen, despite her antagonistic actions the Friday before, was watching Arthur very closely.

“This is _not_ good,” she said on Wednesday when they were having lunch. “I don’t like this.”

“What’s not good?” Merlin asked.

“That.”

She gestured to where Arthur was leaning against a stair railing beside his friends. As soon as Merlin looked, Arthur caught his eye and they both looked away quickly. Great, more awkwardness.

“Not sure I quite understand,” he muttered. “And I thought we weren’t bringing him up.” He took a large bite of his apple.

“Yeah, but...You don’t think it’s a _little_ strange? Even for Arthur? It’s like someone abducted the real one and replaced him with a hollow fake. Like a bad actor.”

Merlin swallowed his bite and shrugged. “Arthur’s always been an actor. Now he just can’t be arsed to be a good one.”

Gwen frowned. “Maybe I should talk to him. Apologise for how I treated him on Friday.”

“No, don’t,” Merlin said quickly. “You were just trying to keep me from getting hurt again. He deserved it.”

She still looked indecisive. “Deserving or not, I still don’t like this. Kinda feels like the whole sixth form is holding its breath.”

Merlin inhaled and exhaled loudly.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin took a bite of his apple.

/ / /

“Hey, stop a second,” Merlin said as he and Gwen left school the next day. He opened his bag. “I just realised my bag feels lighter than normal and—Shit, yeah, my notebook’s still on my desk. Wait here for me?”

“‘Kay.”

Merlin walked against the flow of students coming out, pushing his way politely past people until he returned to his last class. The teacher handed him his notebook as soon as he stepped in the classroom, and he thanked her, stuffing it into his bag. As he turned around, he thought he’d take the student services corridor back to the front and avoid the larger crowd.

This way was definitely more cleared out by now, with the exception of the occasional student staying after for more tutoring. There were some girls from the student council hanging things on the notice board and a custodian going into a supply closet.

Then Merlin turned a corner and tripped over something heavy on the floor, hitting his knee and elbow on the hard tile.

“ _Ow_ ,” he groaned.

“Oh fuck, Merlin, are you hurt?”

Merlin groaned again, though this time because he knew that voice, and it was really just his luck tripping over _him_ of all people.

“I’m fine,” Merlin said, getting to his feet slowly. His knee was throbbing, but at least it wasn’t his head. “Just a bit sore.”

“Sorry, that was my fault, I had my legs out, and this really isn’t the best place to be sitting.”

Merlin turned to face him, rubbing his elbow, and took in Arthur’s appearance. His clothes and hair weren’t any different, but the way he carried himself certainly was. Merlin had noticed it of course, try as he might to avoid looking, but it was painfully obvious up close, where he could see the change in Arthur’s eyes.

Not to mention that a few weeks ago Arthur would have blamed _Merlin_ for being so clumsy instead of admitting to being in the way himself.

“Why were you even...” Merlin trailed off when he saw the sign over Arthur’s shoulder. Mr Kilgharrah’s office. “Oh. It’s Thursday.”

“Yeah. Thursday,” Arthur sighed.

“And is, uh...that going well?”

Arthur snorted and looked away. “At this rate I’ll be here every Thursday until the end of term.”

“Oh.”

With Arthur’s gaze elsewhere, Merlin had a proper chance to look. It _was_ as though Arthur didn’t care enough to put on his act anymore, but it was something more. There was a sort of hopelessness radiating from him—it was in the droop of his shoulders, the shadows under his eyes.

Fuck. He looked exactly the way Merlin had felt the past month.

“Arthur,” Merlin began. Arthur looked up. “Are you...okay?”

Arthur blinked, staring into Merlin’s eyes the way he had before, as though he’d forgot a person was behind them. He wondered if Arthur saw his own despair mirrored there, as evident as it had been when he’d approached Merlin on Friday to try to make things better.

Merlin had expected at least a slight furrow of his brow at the question, a twitch of his lips, but there was nothing, just Arthur’s slack features in a resigned expression. Merlin realised that Arthur _did_ still see his own inner grief after Arthur’s lips just barely moved to speak.

“Are you?”

Merlin felt an overwhelming desire to throw his arms around Arthur, to hold him and be held. He felt his fingertips tingle with the memory of Arthur’s skin, he felt his mind go back to the exact moment when he was connected with Arthur. He felt Arthur’s hand when he touched his cheek and said Merlin was perfect. The space between them now wasn’t even a full metre, and it seemed thick with electric tension.

Suddenly Arthur turned and knelt to his school bag. He pulled out his sketchbook and flipped through the pages until he found the one he wanted and tore it out. Merlin wondered what it was Arthur had drawn this time as he put the sketchbook away. He wondered if Arthur was still drawing him.

Arthur handed the page to him wordlessly, and Merlin was so astonished it took his breath away. It was another sketch of him, of course, but it was from _that_ Saturday, when Merlin had woken up warm in Arthur’s embrace. It had to be, because how else would Arthur have known how to draw Merlin with his head on the pillow, eyes heavy with sleep and a lazy smile on his face?

It was incredibly life-like, right down to the folds of the duvet sloping to cover his naked body from the waist down. Even his hair was detailed, the slight morning frizziness caught in the pencil strokes, the spattering of hair across his chest matching the actual pattern almost exactly. At least, what he could make out of it considering one of his arms was partially covering his chest.

Merlin felt a lump form in his throat, but he smiled, his lips stretching his face, and heard a small exhale from Arthur when he did. It was beautiful. Merlin wished he had at least a fraction of skill so he could capture Arthur as he’d seen him after they’d had sex and Arthur had looked up at him from the bed, so sated and happy.

But Merlin did have a photo, the one of Arthur smiling and baking. Arthur would probably get annoyed with him for having taken it, but Arthur looked good in it to him, so he could at least attempt to return the favour. It wasn’t as though he had much to lose at this point. He pulled out his mobile and sent the photo to Arthur’s number as Arthur watched him.

Arthur reached into his pocket, taking out his phone. As soon as he saw the message, he smiled just as wide as Merlin had upon receiving his own gift. Just as wide as he was in the photo he was looking at. Merlin also exhaled in relief.

The door behind Arthur opened and a girl came walking out. Arthur’s face slipped back into what it was before, the light leaving his eyes.

“I should go,” Merlin said, putting the drawing in his bag carefully to avoid wrinkling it. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

Merlin hesitated a second, feeling like he should say something else, but then turned to leave. This didn’t change anything, not really. Arthur still hadn’t made up his mind.

/ / /

Merlin didn’t tell Gwen about the sketch, or even about quite literally running into Arthur. When she asked what kept him so long, he said the teacher had gone out with the notebook trying to catch him and it had been a short game of finding each other.

Merlin was surprised when she didn’t split from him at her turn and kept walking with him. At his curious eyebrow raise, she said, “I think you need the company today, don’t you?”

“My mum told you about my Netflix addiction.”

“ _And_ I think you need the company. Our weekend drinking clearly isn’t enough.”

“Also your dad is probably catching on, what with all those missing bottles.”

Gwen waved it away. “I can get my brother to buy us some more.”

“Oh, is he back?”

She nodded. “Not sure for how long though. _He_ probably doesn’t even know for how long. And he won’t talk about where he’s been.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Gwen shrugged. “It’s fine. Nothing new there, you know? But he can totally restock us.”

They reached Merlin’s house and went up to his room. Merlin wanted to pull out the sketch and put it somewhere more appropriate than between two notebooks. He probably wouldn’t hang it up, because that was entirely too masochistic, but it did deserve a special place. Since Gwen was there, however, he sat on his bed and went straight to his maths work.

About half an hour later, Gwen looked up from her mobile and said, “Hey, so, you know how you’ve been avoiding Facebook?”

Merlin had a feeling he wouldn’t like where this was going. “Yes.”

“Well, it looks like Arthur is having a party on Saturday. There’s an event for it and everything.”

Merlin went to his laptop and pulled up the website. He didn’t have to scroll very far to see Arthur’s status post, which had apparently been sent from mobile only about ten minutes ago.

 

 **Arthur Pendragon:** Party at mine on Saturday. Bring some if you can.

 

Merlin looked for the event and saw that it was Percival who’d made it, inviting mostly everyone, even Merlin, and leaving it open for anyone else to join. Already twenty people had said they’d go.

“You’re not going,” Gwen said.

Merlin didn’t want to go. But he sort of did. Or maybe he didn’t. There would be drinks there. He could find someone to hook up with that wasn’t Arthur and it would help him forget. Just because it was Arthur’s house didn’t mean he had to see Arthur himself.

“I dunno. Maybe I will.”

“ _Merlin_.”

“Arthur Pendragon isn’t the only one who can have meaningless fucks,” he snapped. “I’m entitled to a few, I think.”

She sighed. “I’m going with you. And don’t you dare try to lose me.”

Merlin shrugged, because he wasn’t going to try defying Gwen, who could actually do more press-ups than him.

“He lives kind of far,” he said in reply instead, looking at the map on the event page. “How are we gonna get there?”

“Ah, leave that to me. I did say my brother was back, didn’t I?”

/ / /

Somehow Merlin was coerced into letting Gwen put eyeliner on him.

“It brings out your eyes, Merlin. Makes them pop. Tommy wears eyeliner.”

“Can we please not bring up Tommy? Ever?”

Gwen cringed. “Right. Sorry. But seriously, you’ll thank me. You’ll look _amazing_.”

Merlin did want to look amazing. He knew if he styled his hair a certain way, wore certain clothes, he could look at least somewhat attractive. But he didn’t want to look just somewhat attractive. He wanted to turn heads.

So he gave in.

“Okay, now look at the ceiling and don’t. Move. A muscle. Don’t even blink or I’ll stab you in the eye,” Gwen warned.

“Oh God, why am I letting you do this?”

“Shh. I’m making art here.”

Merlin sighed and tried not to blink.

“And done. Have a look.”

Gwen stepped away and let Merlin look in the mirror. It was weird seeing it on him, but it did seem to make the blue of his eyes stand out more. It gave him a sort of mysterious, dark, maybe even semi-sexy look. His long eyelashes helped a bit as well. He looked completely different, and felt more confident already.

“Wow.”

“Now don’t rub your eyes or cry or anything,” Gwen said sternly. “The advert said it wouldn’t smudge from sweat so you should be fine there. But I do wonder if we should add a bit of lippy, too. Your lips are already kind of pink, but maybe just a little sheen would—”

“No, absolutely not. I’m drawing the line at eyeliner.”

“Oh, you’re no fun. If I can’t give my gay best friend a makeover, what _am_ I supposed to do with my life?”

“Oh no, do I even want to see what you’ve done to my son?” Hunith came around the corner and peeked through the door of the bathroom. Merlin blushed.

Gwen raised her arms, encompassing her handiwork. “How do you like it?” she asked excitedly.

Hunith looked him up and down, sighing. It wasn’t like Merlin’s jeans were _that_ tight. And his blue and white flannel shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, wasn’t fitted at all. Though he had left a few top buttons undone.

“You look good, Merlin,” his mum said. “Just don’t make any bad choices.”

“Of course.”

“And be _safe_.”

“I will. We both will.”

She lingered another moment, then nodded and left.

Gwen took his hand. “Let’s go, then. My brother said he’d be here in ten minutes ten minutes ago.”

/ / /

Merlin had butterflies in his stomach as they approached the house. It wasn’t the biggest house in the neighbourhood, but it was certainly large, and already overflowing with people, which was a good sign. It meant the chances that he saw Arthur were slim.

And it was loud. More than just the music, which was being amplified from large speakers somewhere. It was the people there, definitely a lot that weren’t in their sixth form. There were some uni-aged people even, and as Gwen and Merlin walked around toward the back of the house, some people were wet, some barely clothed at all. A girl in just her undergarments, dripping water, ran past and Merlin stared after her, wide-eyed.

“He has a pool,” Gwen yelled in his ear.

“Oh.” Merlin looked around. “Where are the drinks?”

“Inside probably. This way.”

The alcohol was easy enough to find, and Merlin picked up a cup of something orange and a little fizzy, bringing it to his lips without question. It tasted amazing, some blend of orange juice and...Sprite?...and some kind of vodka maybe? Merlin didn’t know, but he planned on having a lot more of this the rest of the night.

He had two whole cups of it before Gwen pulled him away to dance. He hadn’t thought the drink quite that strong since it was a bit diluted, but apparently it just had a delayed effect, because only half a song in, things started getting fuzzy and spinny and he felt himself being jostled around by the crowd. His jumping to the beat of the music became a bit off-tempo, but he didn’t care, he was having too much fun. And everyone else around him was having so much fun as well, nothing else seemed to matter.

Not surprisingly, he lost Gwen, but he’d expected that. It would be nearly impossible to find her, so he didn’t bother trying. Instead, he wandered out of the mass of people dancing by the pool back inside for another drink.

He was in the kitchen chugging down more of the orange mix when a low voice whispered in his ear.

“Hey, you.”

Merlin lowered his cup and felt more than saw a boy with dark, wavy hair sliding from behind him to in front of him. Based on the hard line of his jaw and his height, he was one of the university-aged partygoers.

And he was _really_ fucking hot.

“Hi,” Merlin said. It was so quiet that it might have got lost in the other noise.

The boy smiled anyway, and Merlin could tell just from the curve of his lips that he already had plans. Merlin’s blood raced and everything got a little less fuzzy, more sharp-edged.

He raised a hand, tracing Merlin’s bottom lip with his forefinger, and Merlin went still, even as the boy’s grin became decidedly more predatory. “You have the most lovely mouth,” he said, making Merlin’s heart skip. “And I couldn’t help but think ‘I bet he gives the best blow jobs.’” His other hand came out of his pocket to reveal a condom in the palm. “Suck my cock?”

Merlin felt his stomach flip, and he swallowed thickly. He took the condom and noticed the little picture on the front. “Orange flavoured,” he said, giggling a bit. “Like my drink.”

He raised his eyes back to the boy, who was still smiling, now a little amused. “Yeah. Like your drink. What do ya say?”

Merlin handed it back to him and finished the rest of his drink in one gulp. “Sure.”

/ / /

The upstairs to the house was less crowded, and Merlin could actually see the walls for the first time. It was mostly old-looking artwork and elegant wallpaper, and Merlin remembered that this was Arthur’s house. He’d have thought there would at least be a family photo somewhere, like at his own home. Maybe that was downstairs somewhere.

Either way, despite being less crowded, the rooms were apparently so occupied that the dim corridors revealed the occasional couple snogging, on their feet or on the floor. Two girls by the balcony that overlooked the living room were half naked and rolling around in a mess of limbs, evidently too pissed to care that anyone could see them.

The boy Merlin was with kept a firm hand in his own, but it felt more like being held prisoner than being reassured. He tried not to let it bother him as the boy checked room after room and found each occupied. It was what Merlin had come to the party for in the first place, anyways. And the boy _was_ attractive. Merlin _wanted_ to suck his cock, or at least he was pretty sure he did.

“Aha!” the boy exclaimed triumphantly when he saw the empty bed in a room near the back of the house. He pulled Merlin in with him and started undoing his belt. “Could’ve done this in the hall at the rate some of those others were going, but I figured you’d feel weird about that.” He put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and pushed him to his knees. “Get to it, then.”

Merlin tried to calm his thumping heart as the boy in front of him dropped his trousers and then his pants. It wasn’t like he’d never done this. He’d sucked off some random bloke before, and had let someone only slightly less random fuck him when he was much more drunk than this. Now it just felt different, like a betrayal.

He was momentarily distracted by a shuffling sound coming from the other side of the bed. Shit. They weren’t alone in here.

The boy’s hand roughly grabbed the back of Merlin’s head just as the source of the shuffling stood up. Merlin couldn’t believe it at first, thought it had to be some kind of sick joke when he saw the blond head appear over the edge of the bed. But it _was_ him.

“Arthur?”

The boy’s head whipped around and he groaned. “Mind clearing out, mate? Kind of busy here.”

Arthur swayed on his feet and Merlin noticed he had a bottle of vodka in his hand. His eyes looked blearily back and forth between them, his face pinching up in undisguised hurt when he recognised Merlin.

“This is my room,” Arthur slurred. “You were gonna...you were gonna have sex with this guy in _my_ room?”

Merlin couldn’t speak, could only gape, because he _had_ just been about to suck this stranger off in what was apparently Arthur’s bedroom. The expression on Arthur’s face was the most heartbreaking thing Merlin had ever seen. It didn’t help when Arthur huffed and turned away, upending the bottle and taking a long drink.

The boy above Merlin sighed and reached down, pulling his pants and trousers back up. “Guess I’ll just find another bloke with pretty lips. Clearly there’s some unfinished business here.”

Merlin ducked out of the way and put his hands on the bed to get to his feet as the older boy left. Arthur swayed again, his hand darting to the wall to hold himself up, but he ended up falling back to the floor anyways, the wall barely slowing his descent as he slid down.

Merlin hurried round the bed and his gut twisted at the sight. There were two other empty bottles at Arthur’s side, and numerous sketches of Merlin torn out of the sketchbook scattered on the floor. Despite the moment, Merlin couldn’t help but blush when he saw a couple of them were of him completely naked.

“Arthur.”

Merlin tried to take the vodka from Arthur’s hand, but his loose fist tightened around the neck and he grunted something that sounded like “go away.”

Merlin clenched his jaw. “No.”

Arthur blew air through his nose. “Course the one time I don’t wanna see you is the one time you won’t leave.”

Merlin sat down across from Arthur, leaning against the bed and stretching his legs out beside Arthur’s, getting comfortable to stay as long as necessary. He could feel the vibration of the bass through the floor.

Arthur just sat there for what felt like five long minutes, not raising his eyes or doing much of anything besides breathing. Merlin felt horrible seeing him so small and utterly miserable, much more hopeless than himself on even his worst days. He wanted to do _something_ other than just sit here with him, to at least put a hand on his ankle to try to comfort him. But he had a feeling that might make things worse somehow.

Finally Arthur raised the bottle to his lips again and let his head fall back to the wall as he drank. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, and the bottle thudded against the floor when he brought it down.

He looked at Merlin from under his eyelashes. “You’re wearing makeup,” he said hoarsely.

“It’s just eyeliner. Gwen put it on me.”

“Guess it did its job. Not that you needed it.” Arthur’s face pinched up again, just a little. “You wanted him.”

Merlin balled his hands into fists on his lap. “I wanted to forget.”

“Can’t say I’m not guilty of that,” Arthur said, raising the bottle to drink again. When he was done, he slid it across the floor to Merlin.

It smelled strong since it wasn’t mixed with anything, but Merlin drank anyways. It burned his throat and his eyes watered, even made him cough a little. Arthur chuckled.

“This is all that stupid counsellor’s fault,” Arthur declared, suddenly serious again. “I finally told him something last Thursday, after you left. I told him I didn’t think I could stop. With the flirting, ya know? He said I was trying to be controlling or whatever. That I needed to feel like I was accomplishing something by fucking all these girls one by one and that I craved the feeling it gave me.” Arthur snorted. “He said it was a ‘self-destructive way of dealing with the insecurity instilled in me by my father’ or whatever. So I said fuck it, I’ll show you self-destructive, and I threw this party. My father’s been gone for the past few days anyways and won’t be home until late next week.”

Arthur reached for the vodka and took another long gulp. Merlin figured it was an acquired taste, because his throat sort of burned again just watching him.

“Mr Kilgharrah said all that?” Merlin asked warily.

“Well, he said it in that stupid counsellor way.” Arthur’s voice lowered when he imitated Kilgharrah. “‘I think this, perhaps this is because of so and so, maybe you feel that way because blah blah blah.’ Made me wish I hadn’t said anything at all.”

Merlin tread carefully. “You haven’t walked anyone home in a while though, have you? You _have_ stopped for the most part.”

“Yeah, because that cunt Vivian ruined everything.” Arthur sighed and traced the rim of the bottle with his thumb. “I guess that’s not entirely true. ‘S made things harder for sure, but lately there’s been...something I wanted more.”

Merlin didn’t really have to ask what that something was, especially considering they were sitting on top of about a hundred different sketches of Merlin. And when Arthur picked one of them up and laid it across his lap, that just enforced the point.

“I’ve thought about it, though. Sometimes I pass someone I haven’t had yet, and I think about asking her home, or at least go through the scenario in my head, how I’d get her to agree, what I’d say. On some level, I think I know I wouldn’t do much more than just think about it. Because in the end it wouldn’t be enough, it wouldn’t be the same. And I’ve never...I’ve never been in a real relationship but I’m pretty sure cheating on someone isn’t appreciated. If it ever went past just thinking about it, if I slipped up—”

“Arthur—”

“I like you, Merlin. I...I think I fucking _love_ you, but if I ever hurt you I could never forgive myself. I still haven’t forgiven myself for hurting you the first time.”

Merlin was speechless. He couldn’t even really understand how someone could be in love and be so simultaneously tempted by others, no matter how much they apparently craved the need to feel in control. But he knew he wanted Arthur and that Arthur wanted him. He would just have to try to make Arthur want him more, to become everything in Arthur’s world as completely as Arthur was in his.

Merlin got to his feet and walked towards the door. He heard Arthur sigh pitifully behind him, heard the swish of liquid as Arthur downed more vodka. When he reached the door, he locked it and spun on his heels, then started undoing the buttons of his shirt as he walked back to where Arthur was still slumped against the wall.

“Merlin?”

“Get up,” Merlin demanded. Luckily, his voice came out strong, but his hands were shaking a little. He wasn’t even sure if this would work or not, but he had to try. “I said get up!”

Arthur scrambled unsteadily to his feet just as Merlin finished undoing his buttons and shrugged out of his top, throwing it aside. “Jesus,” Arthur gasped.

Merlin grabbed a fistful of Arthur’s shirt and pulled him closer, pressing his mouth to Arthur’s and forcing it open with his lips until he could shove his tongue inside. Arthur moaned in pleasant surprise.

Merlin pushed him up against the wall, grinding into him and kissing him until Arthur’s hands slid up his back and he could feel how hard Arthur was. He steeled his nerves and brought his hand to Arthur’s face, cupping it gently before sliding his fingers to the back of Arthur’s neck and holding it in a firm grip. Arthur’s eyes widened in shock when Merlin knocked his head on the wall a little.

“You won’t slip up, Arthur,” Merlin said. “Because you’re strong. Because you care. And because you’re _mine_.” Arthur’s hands curled reflexively to more tightly hold Merlin’s hips. “You won’t think about anyone else. The only scenarios in your head will be the different ways you want to fuck me. The different ways you want me to fuck _you_.”

Merlin could see Arthur’s eyes getting far away as he started imagining already. Perfect.

“You won’t _be_ insecure, not with me by your side. After tonight, you won’t be able to think about anyone besides me even if you wanted to.” Well, Merlin wasn’t exactly sure about that, but it was all about confidence, right?

He was worried Arthur might still be a little too pissed to get the message because the kissing _had_ been rather sloppy, but Arthur seemed to be sobering up, just a bit. Either way, he’d probably get there later on. For now, Merlin moved to take Arthur’s shirt off.

Arthur was slow and seemed to be a little dazed—which didn’t do much for Merlin’s confidence, but it was too late to stop now—so it was Merlin who did most of the undressing. Merlin sincerely hoped Arthur wouldn’t get suddenly sick, because he _had_ drank a lot. However, by the time they were both naked and Merlin pushed Arthur onto the bed, Arthur had apparently jump-started his brain again, and clutched weakly at Merlin’s skin, hooking a leg around him to bring him closer and arched up into him.

Merlin had a condom in his pocket he’d brought along but he didn’t much feel like using one of the few he had when he knew Arthur probably had a drawer full.

“Where do you keep your condoms?” he asked of Arthur, lips brushing Arthur’s ear.

“L-Loo. Bottom drawer on the left.”

Merlin untangled himself from Arthur’s body to cross the room to the en suite, which of course Arthur would have. He opened the bottom drawer on the left of the wash basin and gaped a few seconds. Not only was there row upon row of condom boxes and three bottles of lube, there was a sleek red dildo laying inside to the far right.

Merlin couldn’t help himself. He reached out and picked it up.

“Um, Arthur?” he called out, waving it where he stood in the doorway.

Arthur’s head lolled over to look at him and his eyes went wide with embarrassment, his cheeks turning bright pink.

“I, er, tried to replace you,” Arthur said. “It didn’t really work.”

Merlin swallowed as images of Arthur fucking himself with the thing currently _in his hand_ flooded his brain. He had a sudden desire to watch Arthur take it, wondering what he’d look like, how fast or slow or hard he’d jerk it in and out of himself. Merlin shook his head and put it back, grabbing the smallest container of lube and a condom from an already opened box. Tonight wasn’t about that.

Merlin took a deep breath and returned to Arthur on the bed, forcing himself back into his confident mindset because that’s what Arthur needed him to be. And Merlin was just intoxicated enough to feel less shy about all this than normal.

“Right, well, tonight you’re going to fuck me,” Merlin said, straddling Arthur. Arthur looked decidedly more sober at that, his eyes less glazed.

“I...don’t really think I have the coordination right now, Mer—”

“I’m going to ride you.”

Arthur looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. “Fuck.”

Merlin smiled and squeezed lube onto his hand before leaning forward a little, his cock brushing Arthur’s stomach. He knew his limits and went straight for two fingers, wincing at the stretch and hissing through his teeth. He grabbed Arthur’s hand and brought it to their cocks, wrapping it loosely around both and urging him to stroke. He shuddered as he worked himself open, feeling Arthur slide beside him, however uncoordinated the stroking may have been.

Not nearly enough time had passed when Merlin finally tore open the condom and slid it onto Arthur’s cock, but it would only hurt for a little while and Merlin wanted to get this done fast, before he lost his nerve and definitely before Arthur started having second thoughts. If this was going to be more than just another meaningless fuck between them, it was going to have to be done right.

“Oh _Christ_ , Merlin,” Arthur gasped as Merlin sank down, taking him in. “That is _nothing_ like...Fuck.”

Merlin dug his fingernails into Arthur’s chest, panting and squeezing his eyes shut as he made himself take it. When he was finally there, finally had Arthur as deep as he could go and his arse burning from the stretch, he paused to breathe a few seconds, his body shaking from the effort and adrenaline.

 _Come on Emrys, you can do this_ , Merlin told himself. _Sure it’s been a while and sure it’s only the second time, but you can totally do this._

Arthur touched him then, ran his hands up Merlin’s thighs, over his hips all the way to his chest. He brought his hands down, brushing his fingertips along Merlin’s spine, making Merlin shudder, and Arthur chuckled at the reaction. The burn was just starting to fade into something bearable when Arthur caressed up Merlin’s arms, up to the shoulders and back down to where his hands were still anchored on Arthur’s muscled chest. Arthur’s fingers curled under his, holding Merlin’s hands in his own.

 _Now_ , Merlin thought. _Now, before he starts thinking._

Merlin pushed himself up, using his knees on the bed, and tried not to let the pain show on his face. It got easier as he went, until the slide was so smooth he could even roll his hips forward a little, using Arthur’s body to take his own pleasure.

Arthur’s hands unfurled from his as Merlin picked up speed, the force of Merlin’s downward movement making the mattress dip. He slid them up Merlin’s thighs again, though this time more purposefully, until they were at Merlin’s arse, a cheek in each clawed hand as he squeezed and released alternatively, kneading the flesh and urging Merlin on. Merlin pushed himself down harder, rocking back and forth in a way that had both him and Arthur moaning.

“God, Arthur, your _cock_ ,” he whined.

Arthur was just as breathless as him, even though he wasn’t doing much more than laying there at this point. “Yeah, I...I’ve got that before.”

Merlin leaned forward until his chest was nearly flush against Arthur’s and he was looking dead in Arthur’s glassy eyes. “Now it’s mine.”

Arthur’s body jerked upward as he gasped and one of his hands trailed up Merlin’s back again, as though he needed to feel all of him at once. Merlin went faster, clenched Arthur’s cock in him tighter, and placed wet kisses over Arthur’s chest, taking a nipple between his lips and sucking it into a hard nub. Arthur’s hips thrust upward again and this time didn’t stop, interrupting Merlin’s rhythm and making him bounce.

“Fuck, Merlin, you’re so fucking sexy,” Arthur panted.

Merlin grazed his teeth over the nipple he hadn’t yet paid much attention to, looking up at Arthur through thick lashes. “Yeah? Wanna see how sexy I can be?”

Merlin didn’t wait for an answer, and Arthur didn’t seem capable of giving one. He raised up again, leaning back on one hand as Arthur fucked him, as he used Arthur to fuck himself, and started stroking his cock. He used the lines of his body to his advantage, arching his spine and letting his head fall back to expose his throat. He put more weight on his arm so he could better control the movement of his hips, snap them downward and bring them back up again even as Arthur thrust into him.

The moans weren’t fake at all considering how close just a hand on his cock had already brought him; all he had to do was end them on a wrecked sigh to make them sound absolutely filthy, and it was easier to make himself vocal when he normally wasn’t, since he wasn’t looking directly at Arthur. He made himself say the things he otherwise kept in his mind, a litany of breathy “yeah”s and “fuck, that’s good” and “harder, fuck yeah, give it to me.” Before he knew it, Arthur had started fucking him hard and fast, and Merlin was screaming, not even words, just screaming from how fucking amazing it felt. When Merlin came, it was like an eruption, an explosion of pent up tension and nerves, and he squeezed his eyes shut again, colours dancing behind his lids.

Arthur was right behind him of course, Merlin’s arse having tightened to the point of pushing him over the edge. Arthur gave another shallow jerk of his hips and his body went taut, his jaw slack as he climaxed. Merlin waited, gasping for breath, until Arthur dropped to the bed again before letting Arthur slide out.

Merlin pulled off the condom for him as well, dropping it over the side of the bed to be dealt with in the morning. He was pretty sure Arthur was just as knackered as him, what with the alcohol and the tiring sex. Merlin had never felt more drained in his life. Arthur’s eyes had already closed.

But the last time they slept naked together they’d been under a duvet, and even then it had been just barely warm. He made Arthur move just enough to pull the duvet from under them and up over their shoulders, wiping the mess Merlin’s own orgasm had made of both their stomachs. The lights were on, but Merlin would duck his head down into the warm darkness soon.

“Arthur,” Merlin whispered.

Arthur’s eyes fluttered open a little and a small grin made his lips curve up. He rolled onto his side, draping an arm across Merlin’s chest. When he was finally satisfied that Merlin was where he was supposed to be, he said, “Yeah?”

“I think I fucking love you, too.”

Arthur buried his face in Merlin’s shoulder but Merlin could tell his grin had widened. “Go to sleep, Merlin.”

/ / /

Merlin blinked his eyes open but abruptly shut them again against the harsh sunlight. He came to a couple sudden realisations: the first, that he was completely naked. The second, that he wasn’t in his own bed, not even in his own bedroom, and there was a distinct smell of alcohol and stale sweat.

The realisations only took about three groggy seconds to hit him, and it took him another two to remember the party, the bloke whose cock he’d been about to suck, and everything that had happened afterward.

He was in love with Arthur Pendragon. Arthur Pendragon was in love with him. There was a catch, right? The other shoe was going to drop, because it always did.

Unlike the time he’d awoken before, Merlin’s arms were around Arthur this morning—or afternoon, judging by the sun—having somehow curled up with him in his sleep. His tongue felt like sandpaper and his head was pounding. If _he_ was this bad off, Arthur was going to be a zombie.

Merlin snaked his arm free of Arthur and touched him softly in his sleep, trailing his fingers over the curve of Arthur’s shoulder and arm, down his hip to his thigh and back up. He smiled as Arthur fidgeted and made a little sniffling noise, unconsciously scooting back into Merlin for more warmth.

It was sort of funny, in a way. Merlin was a scrawny, gangly thing, and Arthur was all rugged strength. And here he was warm and solid under Merlin’s hand, free for him to touch, to feel. Merlin sighed happily and wrapped his arm around Arthur again, squeezing him a little like he was some sort of big, muscly teddy bear.

Merlin wanted this to last forever.

But Arthur didn’t stay asleep too much longer. Only a few more minutes passed before he was groaning, no doubt feeling a much worse hangover than Merlin. He slid forward a bit, creating enough space between their bodies to roll onto his back. Merlin hesitantly kept his arm across Arthur’s chest, waiting to see what he’d say.

Arthur blinked a few times, just staring at Merlin as though he couldn’t really see him, as though he didn’t know what had happened last night. Merlin started to panic. What if Arthur didn’t remember anything? What if it had all been for nothing?

Merlin had just started thinking about how even more awkward everything would be, how utterly unbearable, when Arthur’s cracked lips stretched in a smile. His large hand cupped Merlin’s face, his thumb caressing a cheekbone, and Merlin exhaled with relief.

“You’re unbelievable, Merlin,” Arthur said.

Merlin gave a short laugh. “I hope you have a good memory, because that is _not_ happening again.”

Thankfully, Arthur knew Merlin didn’t mean the sex. That would most likely happen daily now.

“Yeah? Bet if I get you pissed enough, you’ll be more easily persuaded.” Arthur’s brow furrowed. “On second thought, let’s not talk about alcohol consumption for the next, like, week.”

“Agreed.”

A mobile rang then, and both of them cringed at the sound piercing the quiet. Arthur sighed and Merlin reluctantly let him slide away to find the source of the noise.

Arthur looked at his mobile confused a few seconds, then his face smoothed out in comprehension. “Oh.” He answered it. “Hello? Gwen? I assume you’re calling about Merlin.”

Merlin slapped his forehead. Gwen was probably distraught over him. And his own phone was on vibrate so he hadn’t answered _any_ of the messages she no doubt left.

He could hear her high-pitched, frantic voice from the bed, and Arthur’s brows shot up as he pulled the speaker from his ear, alarmed at the volume.

Merlin held his hand out, urging Arthur to give him the phone so he could speak with her, and Arthur placed it in his palm before turning away, probably to get dressed.

“Gwen?”

“Merlin! Oh thank God, you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m—”

“Wait, what the fuck are you doing with Arthur? What happened to not making any bad choices?”

Merlin looked up at Arthur just in time to see Arthur freeze in place, his body bent halfway to the floor to pick up his pants.

“It’s sort of a long story,” Merlin said, making eye contact with Arthur and wordlessly assuring him. “I’ll tell you later, but everything’s fine. Are you still here? Tell me you didn’t you ring my mum.”

Gwen sighed. “ _No_ , I didn’t ring your mum, but trust me, I thought about it when the sun started to come up. Elyan texted me a couple hours ago when he didn’t hear from us, but I couldn’t find you so I told him I’d get back to him.” She paused and Merlin heard the crunch of glass under footsteps. “Merlin, it’s like a war zone down here. Arthur’s lucky the police didn’t show up.”

Arthur disappeared into the loo and Merlin figured he ought to get up as well. He stopped when his bare feet landed on the mess of sketches on the floor, and crouched down to examine them more closely, not having had much of a chance the previous night.

“Huh. I mean, yeah, really lucky. If you’re still here, I imagine a few other people passed out as well.” Merlin turned a paper in his hands, marvelling at the detail in the sketch of himself sitting on a ledge with an apple in his hand. His mouth looked like it was in the middle of moving and the set of his eyebrows made it seem like he was annoyed with whoever he was talking to.

Gwen snorted. “More than a few. There’s two out on the front lawn. The front _lawn_ , Merlin. How does someone even sleep there?”

“Not a clue.”

Another sketch showed him leaning against a wall with his hands tight around the strap of his school bag, shadows partially covering him. This time his brows were pushed together, his eyes a bit narrow, and his lower lip pushed outward, as though he were about to cry. The pencil strokes were a little more jittery on this one.

“Anyways, a few people are awake and raiding the kitchen,” Gwen continued. “And there’s like...I dunno, house servants. People who showed up and started cleaning. They’re like ghosts walking around leaving cleanliness in their wake.”

“Oh.”

Merlin stood up, mostly because his knees were starting to hurt from crouching so long, and walked over to the window. It overlooked the pool, and Merlin did see one woman walking around putting empty cups and things in a bin bag. Another man was cleaning the pool with a net, removing occasional rubbish from it.

“Yeah, there’s even a lost and found,” Gwen said, laughing. “You should see the number of bras left behind...”

Merlin jumped and gasped when he felt arms wrap around him, then sighed and leaned back into the embrace when he remembered it was Arthur. Arthur still hadn’t fully dressed, was only wearing some joggers low on his hips based on the fabric Merlin felt on the back of his thighs, but he’d apparently brushed his teeth because Merlin could smell the toothpaste.

“Probably not the best idea to stand by the window naked, you know,” Arthur whispered in his ear.

Merlin turned in Arthur’s arms and saw him smirking, but beneath the smirk was a genuine smile, and the sun shining through the window making Arthur’s eyes glitter caused Merlin to forget what Arthur had said altogether. He pulled the mobile from his ear just enough to lean forward and press his lips lightly to Arthur’s.

“Right, okay, I’m taking your non-interested answers—and now your total silence—to mean you’re clearly preoccupied, so I’ll see you when you get down here,” Gwen said through the speaker. “Bye Merlin.”

Merlin set the mobile on the desk next to them and turned all his attention to kissing Arthur. He kept tongue out of it for obvious reasons, but it was nice just enjoying Arthur’s lips as well. It was nice being able to have this and only _partially_ worry about Arthur second-guessing everything.

He inhaled sharply when Arthur’s hands lowered to his arse and he hitched a leg up in response, sliding his arms around Arthur’s neck and grinning mischievously.

“There _is_ something I’ve always wanted to try,” Merlin said. “If you’ll let me.”

“That face doesn’t really inspire confi—Oh! Fuck, okay, Merlin—”

Arthur’s hands still clutched Merlin’s arse, but now his arms were shaking from holding Merlin up, and Merlin wrapped his legs tighter around Arthur’s waist, laughing even as Arthur swayed under the weight.

“You know, I wasn’t sure you’d actually be able to hold me,” Merlin said, chuckling. He ran his hands over Arthur’s bulging muscles, squeezing them appreciatively. “But at the risk of feeding that fragile ego of yours, I have to say I’m impressed.”

“Uh huh,” Arthur exhaled shakily. His eyes dropped to where Merlin’s cock was brushing against his stomach, and okay, Merlin may have been a bit turned on. Arthur chuckled breathlessly and arched a brow. “Excited, Merlin?”

Merlin hid his embarrassment by leaning forward to lick the shell of Arthur’s ear. “ _May_ be.”

Arthur’s hands started slipping so he hoisted Merlin up a bit, getting a firmer hold under Merlin’s arse and grunting from the effort. It made Merlin’s cock slide against Arthur’s stomach even more, and he bit his lip as he tried not to chase the sensation.

Arthur’s eyes widened a little when he next looked up, and Merlin could see himself reflected in the shrinking pupils. His hair was a mess, and his eyeliner was more than a bit smudged, but even so, Arthur was staring at him like he was...Well, like he was perfect.

Merlin swallowed down the rising emotion and tried to joke. “How my ears looking? Still majestic?”

Arthur huffed a laugh, laboured as it was coming from between his clenched jaw. He kissed Merlin again, and Merlin slid his fingers into Arthur’s hair, losing himself to feeling of being carried and wanting to mould himself to Arthur’s body completely.

Arthur’s hands began slipping again, his arms shaking much more than before. “Seriously Merlin, how much do you weigh?”

“Hmm. Like...eleven stone seven?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Arthur spun around and let Merlin fall onto the bed, gasping for breath now that he was relieved of Merlin’s weight. Merlin laughed and thought about closing his open legs, but let them stay splayed out instead. Arthur _had_ drawn him naked. He could hardly be embarrassed about letting Arthur’s eyes linger on his exposed body now.

Arthur straightened up with one last large exhale. “Just so you know, if I didn’t have the hangover of a lifetime, that cock would be inside me by now.”

Merlin grinned. “Duly noted.”

“However, it feels like someone is pounding against my skull, so I’m going to try for water instead. Ready to come survey the damage with me?”

Merlin groaned and rolled over. “I dunno, this bed is _so_ comfortable, maybe just a few more—Ah!”

Arthur yanked Merlin’s ankles, pulling him half off the bed. “Come survey the damage with me.”

“Jesus, okay,” Merlin said, pushing himself up. “Still an arse, I see,” he muttered.

/ / /

After scrubbing his face clean and rinsing his mouth with mouthwash, Merlin returned to the bedroom where Arthur was tidying up. The sketches were all in a stack on the table by the window, the empty vodka bottles were sticking out of a bin, and when Merlin looked on the floor by the bed he found the used condom gone as well. The room was still messy, because it was still a teenager’s room, but it was better.

“Gwen said you have house servants?” Merlin asked, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom with his arms crossed. “You know how posh that is, right?”

Arthur looked up from where he was piling clothes in a corner. “Yeah. They’re not allowed in—Whoa.”

Merlin blinked. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing...Is that really what you wore last night?”

Merlin looked down at his jeans and flannel top, both of which were unbuttoned. “Well, I didn’t wear it quite like this. The buttons were done up.”

Arthur nodded slowly. “Right...right.”

Merlin quirked a puzzled brow.

Arthur shrugged, clearly trying not to make a big deal out of it. “It just...looks different with your chest out like that.”

Chest out? “Says the bloke who’s not wearing a top.”

“ _No_ , you idiot, it’s about...it’s about aesthetics and presentation, it makes it more appealing—”

“Wow, maybe you _should_ go to art school,” Merlin said, laughing. “What the hell does aesthetics mean?”

Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Forget it. What was I saying again?”

“The house servants aren’t allowed in...?”

“They’re not allowed in my room. No one is.”

Merlin pursed his lips in mock confusion and looked around at each corner of the room. “It seems to me that I am currently—”

“Shut up, Merlin, you know you’re special.”

Arthur blushed just as deeply as Merlin felt he himself was, so Merlin cleared his throat and pushed down the excitement that apparently Arthur _wasn’t_ second-guessing anything after all as he stepped away from the bathroom. Walking toward the door, he felt his pockets for his mobile and was relieved to find it still in his jeans.

“I should probably show my face to Gwen,” Merlin said.

Arthur sighed and unlocked the door. “Yeah. Think I’ll skip that conversation in favour of seeing what’s going on with my house.”

Merlin wasn’t too worried about doing up his jeans or shirt, because he’d probably be more dressed than most of the people still here anyways. As soon as Arthur opened the door, Merlin saw someone curled up on the floor at the end of the corridor, and it only got worse as they walked through the house, nameless people in various states of undress sprawled across or under furniture.

The few people who were cleaning up gave Arthur a cold glare as they passed. Arthur pulled one of them aside and muttered something about making sure nothing was stolen. Merlin rolled his eyes. Looking around at the fallen artwork and broken glass, theft seemed to be the least of Arthur’s problems.

Merlin hardly recognised the place without it crammed with people, but it was actually quite spacious. Merlin had a hard time imagining Arthur living here, walking through on a daily basis, but Arthur navigated the house with comfortable ease. Sometimes he righted furniture into its original position—if someone wasn’t using it to sleep against, that is.

Not surprisingly, anyone who was awake was in the kitchen, either sitting on the floor or worktop nibbling something. A couple people cheered as Arthur entered, patting Arthur on the back. Merlin peeked his head into the dining room; people were sleeping on and under the table, a couple using chairs as a makeshift bench.

There was a smaller, circular table in the far corner of the kitchen by a large window, which was where Gwen sprung out of her seat when she saw Merlin.

“Merlin!”

“Hey,” Merlin said, waving sheepishly. “Sorry for worrying you. The door was locked so that’s probably why you couldn’t find me.”

Gwen stepped over someone’s legs as she stalked over to them. “I figured you’d be behind a locked door at some point, but not the _whole_ night, and certainly not with _him_ ,” she said curtly. “I really hope you know what you’re doing, Merlin, because I refuse to see you depressed like that again.” She glanced significantly at Arthur before returning her disapproving, motherly stare to Merlin. She even put her hands on her hips. Merlin thought girls only did that on telly.

Arthur fidgeted uncomfortably. “I’ll just, er, keep looking around.” He leaned in to whisper something in Merlin’s ear before taking off. “Don’t leave without finding me first.”

Merlin gave him a smile and nodded, letting his fingers brush Arthur’s wrist as he walked off. When he turned back to Gwen, one of her eyebrows had raised.

“Maybe we should go somewhere more private,” Merlin said. “Like outside. I could use the fresh air.”

Gwen sighed and let her arms drop. Merlin followed her to the glass doors and out to the pool, which had been thoroughly cleaned by now.

When she spun on her heels, her expression was less fierce and more worried, and Merlin felt guilty all over again for having left her in the dark.

“You said you were fine on the phone,” she said. “And you _seemed_ fine, if a little distracted. But I’m serious, Merlin. You _know_ what Arthur does to the people that get close to him.”

Merlin wrung his hands. “I know, I know, believe me, I thought about that. But he was so...Gwen you should have seen him. He was just drinking alone in his room, and he was totally out of it, I mean like unable-to-stand-up _plastered_ out of it. I wasn’t going to just let him drink himself into the hospital. And then he told me why he goes after all these girls, or at least what the counsellor said was the reason, and he told me he loves me, so I—”

“What! He _said_ that? Arthur Pendragon told you he loves you?” Gwen gaped.

Merlin nodded vigorously. “Yes! Yes, he did.” Merlin backtracked. “Well, okay, he said he _thinks_ he loves me, but that’s basically the same.”

“Oh my God!”

“Yeah, and I figured since he was drunk he had to be telling the truth, right? But he said he sort of felt like he couldn’t stop flirting, which was why he didn’t say anything before. He made it sound like some kind of addiction. So I just, sort of, tried to make sure he wouldn’t want anyone else but me.” Merlin shrugged, going for innocent and convincing at once.

Gwen’s eyes widened, then narrowed, then widened again. “You tried to give Arthur Pendragon...the guy who gives girls the best sex of their life...the best sex of his life?”

Merlin blushed. When she put it _that_ way... “Well. Yes. But to be fair, there were a few words involved as well. Like, uh, a pep talk?”

“Merlin, you’re a loser. I mean I say it jokingly most of the time but...Merlin, you’re actually a loser. Both of us are. How the _hell_ did you think you could pull that off?”

“I was half-drunk myself, that’s how,” Merlin said, chuckling. “And it worked, didn’t it? I wasn’t sure it would—and don’t even think about yelling at me for taking that chance with my emotions again because it’s in the past now—but it did work.” He put his hands on his friend’s shoulders and looked into her eyes seriously. “Gwen. I think Arthur’s my boyfriend.”

Gwen was satisfyingly stunned for a moment before shaking her head to clear the fog. “There’s only one way to be sure.”

“Ask him? I can do that. He’s not nearly as intimidating as—”

“ _No_ , Merlin. You have to make it official.” She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. “Like Facebook official.”

Merlin laughed. “Gwen, come on, I don’t think it’s quite as big a deal as you’re making it. I put it up on Facebook and what, the stars align to give us their blessing?”

Gwen sighed, as though Merlin’s ignorance was such a tragedy. “If it’s not public, what’s to stop Arthur from asking to walk some other girl home?”

Merlin’s pulse jumped. “H-He wouldn’t. I...I made sure of it. He’s mine now.”

“And you know how you stake your claim? You put it on Facebook.”

Merlin straightened up. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

It probably didn’t have to be anything major. Merlin couldn’t stand those couples that both had the same profile photo, or whole albums dedicated to just kissing in different locations. It didn’t have to be anything like _that_. But Arthur belonged to Merlin now, and Merlin wanted everyone to know it.

Just one photo would do, he reckoned, one photo to show Vivian and Ashley and all those other gossiping harpies that Arthur Pendragon didn’t fuck just anything anymore, but would only be fucking Merlin from now on. Merlin would have to talk to Arthur first, because otherwise randomly sending a relationship request would be awkward. But Arthur loved him. Arthur said he was unbelievable. This could work. _They_ could work.

Merlin pulled out his mobile and handed it to Gwen. “When the time comes—”

“Take a photo.” Gwen grinned. “I know.”

/ / /

Merlin found Arthur in the living room, drinking a bottle of water on the sofa. Apparently he’d made the previous occupants on said sofa move or leave altogether, because now it was just him and Percival.

“...be at school tomorrow,” Percival was saying, with an amused expression. “I bet not a single one of ‘em shows up. It’ll be a ghost town.”

Arthur chuckled. “I’m not going, that’s for sure. I can hardly think straight now, no way am I going to try doing actual _work_.”

He raised his water to his lips to drink again and stopped when he saw Merlin walking towards him. Percival turned his head to look.

Merlin’s heart raced, but if he was going to prove he was with Arthur, he had to start somewhere, and who better than Arthur’s closest friend? He smiled as confidently as he could and plopped down across Arthur’s lap, hanging his arm casually around Arthur’s neck. Arthur’s eyes widened briefly, darting to a similarly wide-eyed Percival and back, but then his hands grabbed hold of Merlin’s legs and pulled him further up his thighs, the hint of a smile on his lips.

“You said to find you before I left?” Merlin began. “Gwen just texted her brother.”

“I take it everything’s sorted then?” Arthur asked. “She’s not going to rip my head off?”

Merlin took the bottle of water from Arthur’s hand, suddenly realising he was actually quite thirsty. When he tilted his head back to drink it, he caught sight of Percival staring at him from the other side of the sofa, and Percival quickly looked away, turning to face the telly in front of him.

“Yep,” Merlin declared after swallowing. “Everything’s sorted. I didn’t go into minor details but she trusts you just as much as I do not to be an arse.” He paused, searching Arthur’s eyes for any evidence to the contrary. “You won’t be an arse, right?”

Arthur shook his head, understanding what Merlin was really asking. “I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I don’t _feel_ like it’ll be a problem.” He smiled and his fingers slid into the darkness of Merlin’s open shirt, his arm wrapping loosely around Merlin’s bare waist. His voice was quiet and personal when he spoke again, his face drifting closer to Merlin’s. “You’ve sort of liberated me, I suppose.”

“Hey, Pendragon!”

Both Merlin and Arthur looked up to see who was calling him, and jogging up was some bloke that might have been in their year but more likely in the year below them. When he got to them and held out his hand, Arthur reached over the sofa and did some quick hand greeting that suggested they knew each other even though Arthur’s curious expression said otherwise. Merlin disliked him already for interrupting.

“What’s up?” Arthur asked.

“Brilliant party, mate. Just wondering if I could get the extra beer in the fridge?”

“Wow, you’re asking? I think everyone else just took what they wanted and left.”

The boy blinked and shuffled from one foot to the other.

Arthur chuckled. “Yeah, whatever, go for it.”

“Thanks!” He took off towards the kitchen.

Merlin raised a brow. “Who was that?”

“No idea,” Arthur said, laughing. “I’d say I hope he drinks responsibly but that’d make me a hypocrite.”

From the other end of the sofa, Percival laughed as well. “That’d make everyone here a hypocrite. How does one drink responsibly at fifteen, anyways?”

“Oh come on, he was at least sixteen.”

“You’re right, that makes a world of difference.”

“It does. Me at fifteen and me at sixteen were two _very_ different people.”

“You at sixteen and you at seventeen aren’t so different, though,” Percival replied. His eyes drifted from Arthur to Merlin and Merlin suddenly wished he’d at least buttoned his jeans so the striped pattern of his pants wasn’t showing. “Well, maybe a little different.”

Merlin took another drink of water to avoid the following silent awkwardness, and inwardly cursed whoever that bloke was for ruining the moment. He couldn’t just lean in and randomly kiss Arthur _now_.

“You’re drinking all my water, you idiot,” Arthur said, taking the bottle from Merlin. Merlin yanked a lock of Arthur’s hair but was actually a little giddy because “idiot” had definitely sounded less insulting and more affectionate that time.

Even Percival had seemed to catch the tone. “So, er, this is a thing now, then?” he asked, gesturing to the both of them.

Arthur looked back at him evenly, his left arm curling more tightly around Merlin. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s a thing.”

Percival nodded and turned back to the telly. “Okay.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin, but Merlin wasn’t friends with Percival—he was staying out of this.

“You don’t seem surprised,” Arthur said.

“Oh, not at all, mate. I totally called it after you started acting all emo. Leon owes me twenty quid.”

Merlin snickered, and after a few seconds, Arthur threw his head back and laughed too. Percival turned his head back to them, and Merlin may not have been friends with the guy, but he could agree with the look Percival was giving him. _Yeah, it is good to see him this way again._

“I get my twenty quid when it goes on Facebook, so try to have it up soon,” Percival continued.

“Why would I go to the trouble of putting it on Facebook?” Arthur asked, still chuckling. “That whole website is so ridiculous, honestly. Tell Leon he can just ask Merlin if he needs proof.”

Merlin really hoped Arthur couldn’t feel how his body had stiffened at the words. And he hoped Gwen standing at the ready with Merlin’s mobile just in the other room hadn’t heard at all.

Percival quirked a brow, and Arthur turned to Merlin. “You don’t think all that’s necessary, do you, Merlin?”

Merlin mentally fought with himself for what he’d say, but didn’t want to hesitate too long, so he ended up with, “I, uh...No. No, it’s stupid. I really can’t stand couples on Facebook.” Ugh, Gwen was going to kill him. Again.

Arthur looked at Percival. “You see? Even Merlin gets it.”

Not all that surprisingly, Gwen came into the room then. “Merlin, my brother says he’s nearly here.” Merlin heard the unspoken _so say your goodbyes and I can take the photo._ “I’ll be waiting outside.” She disappeared back around the corner.

Percival got up as well. “And I have a feeling you two are about to start snogging, so I’m off to the toilet. Nice sort of meeting you, Merlin.”

Percival, thankfully, didn’t use the same exit Gwen had, and as he left, Arthur moved the water bottle from one hand to the other, setting it on the small table next to them. Merlin could see the desire clear in Arthur’s eyes as he slid a hand around the back of Merlin’s neck, and Merlin had a feeling his own eyes gave away a similar message; he’d been wanting to kiss Arthur since he’d sat on his lap.

These were not the chaste lip-kisses from before, and as Arthur’s hand trailed over Merlin’s collarbone down his chest and around his hip to pull him closer, Merlin suddenly wished they were back in bed, or on _any_ horizontal surface so he could properly join his body to Arthur’s. All he could do at the moment was sink his fingers deeper in Arthur’s hair and kiss him so thoroughly his head tilted back over the sofa.

“Tell me you’re bunking off tomorrow,” Arthur said between kisses.

Merlin had thought about it, but it was still so soon after the trouble with Vivian that he had mixed feelings. “I dunno,” he said. “Probably not. I have course work.”

Arthur groaned. “Could you stop being such a good student for like, five seconds?”

Merlin chuckled against Arthur’s lips. “I’m not _that_ good a student.”

“What if I tell you about one of those scenarios in my head now? Will you stay the night to bunk off with me tomorrow then?”

Merlin felt a jolt of nerves rush to his cock and his resolve crumbled. “You’re going to be a terrible influence on me, aren’t you?”

Arthur grinned victoriously and his hand dipped beneath the hem of Merlin’s pants, the tip of one of his fingers sliding into the cleft of Merlin’s arse. Merlin gasped and his cock hardened ridiculously fast.

“Tell Gwen not to wait up?” Arthur advised.

She did still have his mobile. And was probably still snapping photos from her hiding place even now.

Merlin pulled away, but Arthur just moved his lips down to Merlin’s neck instead. “What happened to your hangover?” Merlin asked.

“I took some paracetamol. It’s gone down from a splitting headache to a dull throb and should be much better by the time you’ve got your fingers inside me.”

Merlin got a dull throb in his cock just at the words. “I’ll have to let my mum know I’m staying here. And I don’t have any other clothes to wear.”

Arthur kissed his way up to Merlin’s ear. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

/ / /

Merlin had pushed the Facebook thing to the back of his mind—which wasn’t that difficult considering the amount of sex he and Arthur had had—and he figured with Arthur holding his hand and kissing him in public, it shouldn’t matter whether or not he staked his claim on Arthur on the internet. People were talking about it anyways.

But by the time Friday came round, Merlin found himself watching Arthur closely every time they passed some girl. He wondered who Arthur was talking to when he wasn’t around. No matter how many times Arthur assured him he didn’t want anybody else, had stopped thinking like he used to, Merlin couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

It didn’t help that Gwen kept telling him to upload one of the photos she’d taken, or suggest that she upload one herself if Merlin didn’t want to appear to have gone behind his new boyfriend’s back. Merlin always told her no, it was fine, _they_ were fine. It was stupid to freak out over a relationship status as if it were a wedding ring or something.

Which got Merlin’s mind thinking about the future and being with Arthur forever, and he really needed to just stop because he was seven-fucking- _teen_.

So when Arthur ended up posting he was in a relationship first, Merlin was equal parts shocked and thrilled to say the least. He was in the common room on the sofa gaping at his mobile when he felt Arthur slide next to him.

“You’ve been weird the past couple days,” he said as greeting. “Also Gwen threatened me.”

Merlin laughed. “I don’t understand. I thought you said the whole website was ridiculous.”

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. It is. You’ll, um. You’ll find out soon, I guess. Just confirm it and, well...Yeah, you’ll see.”

That sounded remarkably dodgy, and Merlin was more than a little interested in what would happen after he confirmed it. Arthur’s leg bounced up and down the whole three minutes it took for the message to finally arrive.

It was a friend request from someone named Morgana Pendragon.

“Who’s...?”

Arthur put his head in his hands and groaned. “My sister,” he said miserably.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Best You Ever Had - written by neuroticnick](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1718600) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)
  * [[Podfic] Best You Ever Had - written by neuroticnick (reclaim)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341905) by [bravenclawesome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravenclawesome/pseuds/bravenclawesome)




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